Chapter 9 discusses the alternatives to marriage and how they relate to marriage itself. These alternatives include, but aren't limited to, singlehood, cohabitation, and LGBT relationships. Though some alternatives(singlehood) may or may not be temporary.
The book stresses that while people are marrying later and sometimes differ from the norm of the traditional marriage(and the book would argue that the "traditional" marriage we think of isn't as longstanding as we think), marriage is still the norm, and that the increase in singlehood is a reflection of good things as well as bad, such as a longer life span, and better incomes. The book also calls to attention the interplay of macro and micro level forces that affect singlehood.
As for non-heteronormative relationships, the book takes care to illustrate how they are similar to heteronormative relationships, such as conflict over power, intimacy, etc. The book also details the legal complications of gay marriage and how it affects LGBT relationships.
The book also mentions that even though these choices are becoming more accepted and more of an option, many of them are not as legally sanctioned as the institution of marriage.
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1. How do you think the American values of independence and individualism interact with the need for family and love?
2. What do you think are the pros of communal living? The cons? Does it depend on what kind of communal living environment it is?
The true independent person or the true individualist --no matter whether American, Russian, Nigerian, or of some other nationality -- determines what he or she needs for him- or her- self. And so how they would interact with the 'need for family' or 'need for love' is they would create it for themselves rather than take it for granted. Creating a need for oneself in this respect would be nothing more than recognizing an absence in oneself where there could be a presence (of family/love). One only recognizes this absence through interactions with others. And so where nationality would come into the picture is through these interactions. The absence of family/love or the need for family/love would be the absence of or need for a distinctly American concept of family/love. --Generally, an individualist creates need for himself and those needs are based on concepts that he establishes through social interactions (and that is where nationality comes in).
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