More and more people are waiting to get married--teens are going to college, graduating, and pursuing jobs before deciding to settle down with someone. Therefore, we are beginning to marry at older ages--25 for women and 28 for men. OF the population that is single, there are a couple of different reasons why they are single--voluntary temporary singles (open to marriage, not a huge priority to find a mate at the moment), voluntary stable singles (have no desire to marry), involuntary temporary singles (would like to get married and are actively seeking a mate), and involuntary stable singles (older divorced or widowed people who would like to get married but cannot find a mate or have not accepted the fact that they are single). However, at least 90% of all Americans do marry at least once in their lifetimes. As of 2010, over a quarter of the population lives alone and the average size of the household is about two people. For those that are living alone, the majority of them are older, white, women. Many people choose to live alone because it offers them freedom, they can afford it, and living alone also emphasizes a longer and healthier life. As for why people are single, some reasons are: war, economic factors, gender roles, non-marital child bearing, waiting for a soul mate, being independent, enjoying their already close relationships, not wanting to make a commitment, and lastly, being healthy and physically attractive. Basically, on individual-level reasons, most people don't want to marry because they don't want to have to change their lives to accommodate a spouse. Some myths about being single--they are selfish, financially stable, lonely, either promiscuous or don't sleep with anyone, their children are doomed to a life of poverty, they worry about dying alone, and there is something wrong with people who don't marry. A lot of people feel that the only way to be happy is to have a great big, white wedding, but not everyone agrees with this!
Another new trend is cohabitation--when people not married live together. There are many reasons this occurs--when two people are dating, when two people are about to get married, when people want to have a "trial marriage," and people who want to permanently live together without getting married. The majority of people are 25-44 years old, 50% of women have cohabited at some point in their lives, more common among lower educated people with lower income levels, and people who are less religious. Very surprisingly, seven states see that cohabitation is immoral and therefore, illegal.
Also related to cohabitation, gay and lesbian couples can only marry in seven states, and therefore must resort to cohabitation. Of those that are gay, they are from every race and ethnicity, "have equal power" in the relationship, experience problems in the same areas as heterosexual couples (power, personal flaws, intimacy, and physically absent). DOMA is the defense of marriage act. It bans gay couples the right to 1,138 federal laws such as inheritance to making funeral arrangement for his/her significant other. Civil unions do exist for them, but there is never anything that is separate but equal.
2. Interesting
I was really surprised to learn that over a quarter of the population lives alone. I didn't think it was that much (a lot of people have roommates, etc)! I was also very surprised (not in a good way) to learn that seven states prohibit cohabitation. Just because they see it as immoral, does not mean it should be termed "immoral."
3. Questions!
37% of people think that if a couple has a child out of wedlock that it is very important that they marry? Where do you stand on this issue?
OR
(If you aren't married) Do you want to get married, or do you prefer to stay single/cohabitation? Why?
OR
Do you think it is right that seven states deem cohabitation immoral?
--Bonnie Noel
Personally, I have a hard time thinking of myself living alone and being satisfied with that. I can't wait to be a wife and mother because it is important for me to feel needed. Also, I think being a wife and mother makes you learn qualities such as selflessness, compassion, and empathy that you may never learn living alone. If I end up not getting married I can only see myself satisfied with life if I am out doing missionary work or being heavily involved with the community I am living in.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with Kelly, I also can't wait to be married and start that chapter of my life (not sure about the kids part though!). I do have to wonder, how socially constructed is the idea of marriage? The book seemed to look negatively at singles, calling it the "marriage problem," and I'm not sure that all people think it's a problem. I think society makes us think that it's not okay to be single, and to live alone, and be self-sufficient, particularly as women.
ReplyDeleteGina Z
Bonnie,
ReplyDeleteI think you raised some really good questions. To answer your first question, I don’t think if a couple has a child out of wedlock it is necessarily important that they marry. I think what is important is that they do what is best for themselves and the child; they shouldn’t marry if it is going to create an unhealthy marriage that will negatively affect the child. For example, if a couple marries and are never happy, thus argue all the time, this puts a child in a hostile environment, which could negatively affect them physically and mentally as they grow up. Couples should marry only if they are ready for a true, affectionate commitment with each other that will allow them to raise the child in a stable/healthy environment together. Therefore, when a couple has a child out of wedlock they need to take into consideration both their relationship as well as the child’s well being to decide whether or not they are ready for marriage together.
Furthermore, to answer your third question, I personally see nothing wrong with cohabitation so I don’t really find it right that seven states have deemed it immoral. In my opinion, if a couple is thinking about marrying one another, cohabitation is a great way to see if they could live and be happy together before actually making a long-term legal commitment that would be harder to dissolve. By living together before the actual marriage, a couple can get to know each other better and find out if their feelings for each other are strong enough for a lasting relationship. I know cohabitation does have its disadvantages too, like what might arise from the cohabitation effect leading to a possible increase chance of divorce, but I don’t think there is enough evidence of such negative effects that might outweigh the benefits to deem cohabitation as immoral.
-Natalie Fisher
I pick question #3: No I don't think it's right to deem cohabitation legally immoral. I don't know the original reasons for the law, but it sounds unwarranted now. I can understand if individuals think it is immoral for things like religious reasons, but I think it should only be a personal choice rather than a state-specified one. Cohabitation could be good or bad depending on the couple and the circumstances so it should be up to their discretion.
ReplyDelete