Beauty Through Different Cultures

In class today we began to discuss how different cultures view beauty and how that effects the choice that people make when considering a partner to either start a new marriage with or live with after a divorce has happened. I was curious to find how different cultures viewed beauty and how this could effect the marriage rates throughout different cultures so I have done some independent research and have come up with some interesting facts. The first interesting thing that I found in an article name The Construction of Beauty by a team consisting of Katherine Frith, Ping Shaw, and Hong Cheng that the factors that determine beauty vary heavily from culture to culture and can be seen through ads produced by the media. In their research they found that "beauty" in America consisted of observing the whole body as well as clothing as well, where as in places such as Singapore, Taiwan and various Eastern Asian countries the ads that were portraying beautiful women focused greatly on the woman's face and facial features. These differences were somewhat found to be attributed to gender roles and how society views females. In the United States it was found that to be feminine and beautiful a woman must be a variety of things including attractive, empathetic, nurturing and concerned with people and relationships, yet in the Eastern Asian countries beautiful women were very modest and virtuous. The different views on beauty between the two very different cultures is very interesting to me and really made me think about why this could be.

Another interesting fact that I found through this study is the emphasis on sex appeal in America compared to other countries. In the United States, ads tend to grab the viewers attention through portraying "attractive female bodies and sexual stimuli" even when the product being promoted has nothing to do with any sexual activities. In 1999 it was found that more than 35% of ads have sexual references. Of this percentage 29% had a seductively dressed model and another 27% had at least a subtle hint at some kind of sexual activity. This was very interesting considering that 35% is very high when realizing how many commercials are aired on most networks. In an average 30 minute broadcast there is an estimated 8-8.5 minutes worth of commercials that are shown, and if at least 35% of these commercials are sexual or have sexual undertones the average person watching this show is viewing nearly 3 minutes of that sort of commercial with every show that they watch. This is 10% of the time that they set aside to watch the show, not including the sexual undertones that are in the show itself. This is the driving force behind how America portrays beauty and what has become accepted as beautiful in America, and although I could not find recent studies that were done I am sure that the percentage of sexual references during commercials is growing as time goes on and it becomes more accepted.

Beauty in America has now being seen in more of a sexual way, where as over seas in some places there is still more of a virtuous tone to what is considered beautiful. This change is becoming more drastic as time progresses and the United States continues to walk the thin line between displaying a woman's body as beautiful and objectifying women to sell products.

The Future of the Family blog

Dr. Anapol begins her article by going over the history of families and then addresses the issues among families today. She goes over why the current situation for women- working full time and taking care of a family/household full time- is not working and how it poorly affects the children. So, she offers a new kind of family to remedy the situation:
"First let me describe what a combo family is and how it functions. Three to eight adults, of any mutually agreeable age and gender mix, form a marriage-type partnership. Possibly they incorporate or form a family trust, since there is no legal means of marriage for more than two people in the United States. They live with their co-parented children in one large or several adjacent houses or flats. They share domestic and economic responsibilities, just as an old-fashioned family does, but there are more hands to join in the workand the fun! Impossible? Too complicated? Unworkable? No more so than our current arrangements! Of course, we could simply reduce the average work week to 20 hours per week so that two parents could work half-time (for full-time pay) and parent full-time, but that would be even more difficult to bring about! And the combo family has the potential of utilizing a group synergy not found in single-parent or two-parent families. Even more significantly, it transforms humanity's polygamous nature from a liability to an asset. Combo families may seem like a big leap on the evolutionary path, but consider the advantages for children."
http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com/articles/The_Future_of_The_Family.html
I do not support Dr. Anapol's opinion because I do not think that humanity has a "polygamous nature," but it was still an interesting article to read.

The future of the family based on "The Handmaid’s Tale"

Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaids Tale” is a futuristic novel that addresses fictional (or not so fictional) issues involved with the future of the family. The story takes place in a futuristic totalitarian state that has replaced the United States. In this society, the fertility rates in women are extremely low due to pollution and chemical spills. Because of this, the government takes away all of women’s rights and freedom and women become merely valued for their reproductive abilities. Fertile women are trained to only be worried about having children and being subservient to men. After substantial training these fertile women (who are called handmaids) are assigned to powerful, wealthy couples who have an infertile female spouse to reproduce with the male spouse in order to produce offspring. The main character is forced by the state to live with and serve this powerful family and is forced to have intercourse with her master while she is fertile. The majority of the story unfolds within this context.

Discussion

Imagine that it is possible that pollution and some kind of accumulation of hazardous spills affected peoples’ fertility drastically. If such a disaster occurred and the majority of people couldn’t reproduce, it would create a sort of disaster for humanity. Do you think that the government would take some kind of measure that included rounding up fertile women and forcing them to reproduce with powerful men. In the present day, there is not much that money can’t buy and with such as prospect as terrible as humanity ending, I think this does not take too much of a stretch of imagination. These events would clearly change the structure of the family which would now include a third party who aids in reproduction. Do you think this could ever happen if the fertility rates continued to decrease to the point of governments fearing the depletion of the human population?

Is this something that we have already begun to see on a smaller level, for example, with infertile couples using surrogates to physically have the children for them?

-Ali Mosser

Transhumanism

The Wikipedia article on transhumanism was not the first time that I have come across this topic.  Freshman year I was assigned Bill Joy's article "Why the Future Doesn't Need Us" for an English class and it really opened my eyes to the negative effects of technology that is far too progressive and advanced.  However, I have mixed feelings about transhumanism.  We are a generation that is obsessed with technology and how it can better our lives, but do we really want to turn into a piece of technology ourselves?  Of course it would be great to finally have cures to diseases such as cancer and to be able to "enhance human intellectual, physical, and physiological capacities", but how far is too far?  And of course there is the concern that transhumanism would eliminate any type of individualism or creativity.  When reading articles like this I can't help but imagine a world similar to that of "I, Robot"or "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and those are worlds that I definitely do not want to be apart of.

"On the Future of Family Structure"

Summary

"On the Future of Family Structure" by Reihan Salam discusses the ever changing family structure in the United States and possible implications for the future of the family. The article emphasizes the economy and the fact that "economic outcomes for children are profoundly shaped by family structure". For example, a main reason for the U.S.'s high child poverty rates is due to the fact that about half of adolescents do not live with both biological parents. The family structure has also become fairly polarized. For example, high socioeconomic households are embracing a "neo-traditional" family structure, families led by dual earning couples in which duties are shared, however, "one parent focuses on market labor while the other focuses on household labor", whereas lower socioeconomic households are quite often led by single mothers. According to University of Virginia sociologist Brad Wilcox, these "neo-traditional" families will continue to increase in addition to egalitarian marriages.

Annalee Newitz, editor of io9, believes that we are about to witness a revolution similar to that of the sexual revolution of the 1960's, except in relation to reproductive freedom. Today, it is becoming increasingly common for people to have multiple sexual partners over a lifetime and women can have children without the support of a man. She belives it is going to become even "more common for women to have children outside of marriage" and women experiementing with various parenting arrangements.

The nature of marriage is also shifting from serving economic purposes to focusing on providing love and companionship. In addition, U.S. family policy has become much more lax when it comes to governing who can get married or divorced. Some believe that this will lead to an undermining of the U.S. family.

What I Learned

I learned that there is incredible variation among U.S. families and I think that this is only going to further increase over the years. I'm not sure that there is a right or wrong type of family structure. In my opinion, the main concern should always be for the children's wellbeing.

Question/Concern

Would ever you consider having/adopting a child as a single parent?

Article link: http://www.nationalreview.com/agenda/230703/future-family-structure/reihan-salam

Chapter 16: Remarriages and Stepfamilies

Summary

There are many different definitions of a stepfamilies. Our author defines a stepfamily as "a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or to cohabit."

There are a number of types of stepfamilies. There are mother-stepfather families, father-stepmother families, and joint stepfamilies where there is one (or more) biological child and one (or more) stepchild. Furthermore, stepfamilies are different with regard to the parents' sexual orientation. There may be gay or lesbian stepparents. These remmariages face more stigmatization than heterosexual remarriages.

Beyond describing the stepfamily, the chapter discusses the decision to remarry, the process of remarrying, and the consequences of remarrying.

The decision to remarry may be based on many factors. Factors that explain peoples decisions to remarry include age, gender, race, social class, or children. Depending on how an individual fits into these categories, their decision to remarry may be affected. For example, white women tend to remarry more than asian women and women in general tend to remarry more than men.

There is a process of remarriage that is the opposite of the process of divorce discussed in the divorce chapter. There is emotional, psychic, community, parental, economic, and legal steps to remarriage. Going through these processes may more difficult than in first marriages where remarriages face opposition in a community or by a child.

The consequences of remarriages may be positive or negative. Negative consequences include uncertain family composition, unrealistic expectations placed on family members, difficulties in integration, no shared histories among family members, greater liklihood of divorce than first marriages, and women tend to be less happy than in first marriages. Positive consequences include increases in resources, and women tend to be more happy than divorced women.

There are mixed results as to how remarriage affects stepchildren; the result seems to be. The conclusion is that the success of remarriages, especially with regard to the children, depends on the family's characteristics and dynamics. The book cites 7 characteristics that make for a successful stepfamily. Among these are that successful families 'develop realistic expectations', 'let children mourn their loses' over divorce of their parents, and that 'stepparents take on a disciplinary role gradually'.

What I learned

From this chapter I learned that remarriage makes people happier than being divorced. I am skeptical of how happiness is defined, here, however.

This is a sentiment expressed in Kelly's critique of an earlier chapter (posted 10/26), where she says that maybe marital happiness and happiness in general are two different forms of happiness. Whether that is true or not I don't know, but what can be acknowledged by these comments, Kelly's and my own, is that happiness is an elusive concept that perhaps cannot be pinned down theoretically and so cannot be pinned down statistically. As critical thinkers we ought to be at least skeptical of the numbers in the book with variables in 'happiness'.

Questions/Concerns

I found a real problem with the following statement -- its not only unsound reasoning, its invalid reasoning. I found it comical, actually: "The U.S. remarriage rate is the highest in the world, which suggests that many Americans haven't given up on marriage."

'Marriage' in this sentence is used contrary to how I use the word, and how the book uses the word on other pages. As I use the word 'marriage' is life-long commitment, not just commitment as it is used here. My use seems to be the most accurate use of the word, because when someone marries, it is assumed that they are making a life-long commitment. To say that remarriage is proof of lifelong commitment is absurd; it effectively proves the opposite with respect to an old partner while merely forecasting lifelong commitment with a new partner.

Even if you do not accept my understanding of marriage as life-long commitment, you can at least acknowledge contradiction in the book brought up by the following statement: Latinos and Asian Americans have lowest remarriage rates because "...Latinos and Asian Americans, especially recent immigrants encourage marriage and discourage cohabitation and divorce (my italics)." This statement clearly contradicts the earlier one. Here, remarriage is discouraged by the community while marriage is encouraged and the author endorses that these are not only distinct but opposing concepts.

Chapter 14: Family Abuse, Violence, and Other Health Issues

Summary

There are several different forms of abuse: intimate partner violence (IPV), Child maltreatment, incest, sibiling abuse, and elder abuse. These forms can be discussed in terms of gender, sexual orientation, and racial-ethnic groups.

The typical batterer statistically is one or several of the following: young, unemployed, cohabiting/separated, abusive of alcohol or other drugs, and/or had parents who beat. Thus, age, financial situation, relationship status, and history of drug use and parent abuse all are statistically significant factors when considering who batters.

The typical victim statistically is one or several of the following: young, female, multi-racial, and/or earns a low income. Thus, age, gender, race, and financial situation are all statistically significant factors when considering who is battered.

The reasons for abuse include stress, drugs, poverty, and divorce. Thus, there are both micro- and macro- level reasons for abuse.

Among all different kinds of abuse in the family, two forms of abuse are prevalent, physical abuse and emotional abuse. In addition to these two forms, depending on who is being abused, additional forms of abuse surface. A significant number or partners, children, and siblings experience sexual abuse. A significant number of children and elders are neglected (this abuse is most common among these groups). Elders are also abused through financial expoitation.

Same sex abuse differes in reasons for abuse. Same sex partners often abuse due to internalized homophobia or heterosexual discrimination.

The effects of abuse differ according to the kind of abuse. In child and adolescent abuse, long lasting problems may be created. These problems may be physiological, emotional, and/or social.

A number of theories attempt to understand why abuse occurs: patriarchal theory, social learning theory, resource theory, exchange theory, and ecological systems theory.

To decrease the number of abuse cases, a number of measures can be taken. First, we can raise awareness about these issues. Second, we can increase legislation and enforcement in order to intervene. And third, we can prevent abuse through abuse-education.

The chapter also discusses family health issues in general, including substance abuse, depressions and suicide, and eating disorders. Each of these health issues, like abuse, has a negative impact on the functioning and well-being of families.

What I learned

Whenver on thinks of abuse, one tends to think only about physical and sexual abuse. Through reading this chapter, I learend agreat deal about the different forms of abuse, including neglect, emotional abuse, and financial expoitation.

Question/Concern

I am surprised that the concept of masculinity did not come up in this chapter -- that seems as though it could be another reason that one, specifically a male, could be an abuser. Masculinity we tend to associate with dominance as opposed to femininity, which we tend to associate with submissiveness. Abuse is a form of dominance, insofar as the abused do not want to be abused and abuse is often a means towards getting someone to behave in certain ways that they do not want to behave. To affirm ones masculinity, then, and express dominance, it seems that one might abuse another person, male or female. This tendency might even be understood as a natural predispositon, insofar as it can be observed in nature. Male animals tent to assert their dominance through force.

Chapter 16

David Komorowski
Chapter 16 blog

Summary: Within this chapter we turn away from divorce and we turn to what happens a lot of the times after they occur—the formation of step-families and remarriages. We first look at what it is to be single again which usually involves dating or cohabitation. We then look at what a step family actually is—a house in which one of the spouses has a biological child from a previous marriage. We then see that remarriage is the most prevalent in the U.S. than anywhere else in the world. Some characteristics discussed of remarried couples are age, gender, race/ethnicity, social class, etc. More specifically the process of remarriage is broken down which includes emotional remarriage, physic remarriage, and even legal remarriage. We then take a look at a comparison between the first marriage and the remarriage. Some differences include step-siblings, distributions of stress, as well as role expectations from different people involved in the family. Before remarriage, and with good reason, people are sure to hear or know about some myths that go around involving it which is why that and stereotypes involving remarriage are also spoken about in the chapter. Step families can be very diverse and complex. Some types discussed include mother-stepfather families and father-stepmother families. Gay and Lesbian step families are then touched upon as well as characteristics which are very similar to heterosexual step families. The chapter finishes up talking about what it means to live in a step family and what can make them successful.

What I learned: In looking at the step family myths within the chapter I realized that most failed step families probably are in a bad state that they’re in because of failed or unrealistic expectations that either the parents or children have. I can imagine that most children probably have negative expectations because they do not want change in their lives but on the opposite end I believe parents “try to make the most of it” and overcompensate by smothering the child with unrealistic love. The types of remarriage (parental, emotional, legal, physic, community) make me realize just how much step families have to adjust to try and succeed in a new family with new friends and even sometimes new children. I was surprised to see that America has the highest remarriage rate of anywhere else in the world which makes me to a couple of things. But most importantly it makes me believe that people are still having faith in marriage even after the first one doesn’t work.

Questions to pose:
When looking at this chapter one thing I realized wasn’t really spoken about was the possible abuse that could happen in a step family that may not occur as much in an immediate family—for instance sexual or physical abuse from a non-biological family member. My question I pose to the class is that do you think sexual abuse is more likely to happen in step-families? Another would be how do you think feelings from a child being abused would differ between a biological and a non-biological family member.

Chapter 16

Summary

Chapter 16 starts out stating that stepfamilies are formed after divorce, remarriage, and after widowhood. Many divorced people prepare for remarriage by living together. The US remarriage rate is the highest in the world and nearly 85% of divorcees remarry. The most common decision factors for remarriages are age, gender, race, social class, and the presence of children. There are considered to be 6 different stages of divorce and they are as follows: emotional remarriage, psychic remarriage, community remarriage, parental remarriage, economic remarriage, and legal remarriage. Step-siblings are siblings who share a biological/adoptive parent and a step parent, and half siblings are siblings who share only one biological or adoptive parent. 3 basic types of stepfamilies are mother-stepfather family, father-stepmother family, and joint stepfamily. Some problems stepfamilies face are: naming, sexual boundaries, legal issues, distributing economic resources, distributing emotional resources, developing “step” relationships, establishing discipline and closeness, gender differences in children’s adjustment, and intergenerational relationships. Studies show that children in stepfamilies don’t fare as well as children in biological studies.

Interesting Topics

I found the little sub article on sexuality in stepfamilies incredibly interesting. It seems both taboo and appropriate at the same time. On one side siblings aren’t supposed to be attracted to each other, and on the other side (step) siblings in stepfamilies aren’t blood related which is something that our culture teaches us to look for in attraction 101; you can’t have a relationship with your own blood.

Question

I was wondering if anyone could shed light on how a stepfamily feels? For those of you who are a member of a step family how was the transition into it?

Steve Boser

Chapter 16: Blog

Summary:

The previous chapter talked about divorce and separation of the family; Chapter 16 discusses remarriages and the creation of stepfamilies. The median time between a divorce and a new marriage is almost 4 years, 12 percent of men and 12 percent of women had been married twice, and 5 percent of all married couples have three sets of children. With these statistics in mind, it is obvious to note that divorce is becoming more common, and it is becoming more popular to have large families. Cohabitation often results after a divorce, and it is a common factor towards predicting remarriage. By definition, a stepfamily is a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or cohabit. Again, remarrying is a common practice; with ages 50 and younger, women are more likely to be married twice than men. However, with ages 50 and over, men are more likely to be married 3 or more times. By ethnicity, whites are the most likely to be ever married, as well as most likely to be married twice. Some factors that can serve to predict remarriage consist of age and gender, race/ethnicity, social class, and the presence of children. There are different types of remarriage and aspects that need to be dealt with, such as emotional, psychic, community adjustments, parental adjustments, economical, and legal factors. Some key differences between first marriages and remarriages are differences in family composition, role expectations (between stepchildren, stepsiblings), changes across the life course (different family stages in life), and differences in stress and resources. Some myths that promote dangerous stepfamily expectations are the nuclear family myth, the instant love myth, and the rescue fantasy. 60 percent of remarriages, compared to 45 percent of first marriages, end in divorce; remarriages are more likely to end in divorce. There are different types of stepfamilies, consisting of mother-stepfather families (children are biological of the mother and stepchildren are of the father), father-stepmother families (children are biological of the father and stepchildren are of the mother), and joint stepfamilies (at least one child is the biological child of both parents, and at least one child is the biological child of only one parent and the stepchild of the other parent). Complexity, uniqueness, and high stress and conflict are common parts of stepfamilies. Other parts that define a stepfamily consist of family integration (over years, not months), the ending of important/significant relationships (i.e. parental), less cohesion (compared to nuclear families), and constant transitions and adjustments. Some characteristics of parenting in stepfamilies consist of distributing economic resources, development of stepparent-stepchild relationships, and intergenerational relationships.

New Material Learned:

Before reading the chapter, I didn’t know that the divorce rate among people married twice was as high as 60 percent.

Questions:

Why is it that women are more likely than men (among people under 50 years of age) to be remarried, while men are more likely than women (among people over 50 years of age) to be married three or more times? Why is there this drastic difference around the age of 50 in determining differences in marriage rates among men and women?

Chapter 16 Remarriage & Stepfamilies

I found two things in particular that were interesting in this chapter:

First, the topic of Gay and Lesbian Stepfamilies

• The book states that the problems faced within stepfamilies are expanded and deepened within gay and lesbian families.
• However, the diversity and ability to cope with obstacles within gay and lesbian families are the same as heterosexual stepfamilies.
• Within "stepmother families" lesbian couples, the lesbian stepmother takes on a more traditional role, but the biological mother makes most of the decisions.
• Within "co-mother families" both women have equal say and power concerning decisions that are made within the household and for the children.
• Within "co-parent families" the mother who does not have the child is a supporter of her female partner and remains active within the child's life.

Secondly, characteristics of Stepfamilies:

Some of these characteristics include,

• Complexity- the dynamics of the family change with step-parents and new siblings. New ties are formed between aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
• Coping with unusual tasks- Rejection from children is a huge obstacle faced by step parents. Setting boundaries for kids within the home can be difficult with children who aren't receiving these rules from their biological parents.
• Stress- Being a different "type" of family or a family that doesn't fit the cultural norm many stepfamilies deal with stress to fit in with traditional families. Many times, families are joined together within a household all at once and are forced to adjust quickly.
• Integration- Getting used to the dynamics of a new family formed together can take numerous years. The age of the children involved within the family play an important role in how long it takes the family to adjust to their new setting.
• Relationships- Because of the difficulty fathers have in remaining within their children's lives after divorce depending on the situation, relationships can be severed or damaged from lack of involvement or communication from one parent or the other, but fathers especially.
• Flexibility- Adjusting to the idea and dynamics of a stepfamily involves a lot of give and take. Many couples are forced to make arrangements concerning visitation of children. Also, life within a stepfamily's home may not seem normal compared to traditional families. Things must be planned out and decided before time can be spent between family members.
• Cohesive- Because a stepfamily is a mixture of family members from different families, certain bonds to biological parents are kept and nurtered and favored over those of new family members. A child may feel distant from their step parent if a bond is never formed.
• Expectations- many parents have high hopes that their family will bond cohesively and work together as a unit. They expect their children to get along, for the dynamics to remain the same as if they were a traditional nuclear family.

Questions:

1. What do you think about gay/lesbian couples? Do you think it's harder for a gay couple to fit in as a family with a child than women because it's two men raising a child? Do you think that a gay or lesbian couple can raise a child traditionally as the way a heterosexual couple would?
2. Do you think there are any advantages/disadvantages for a child who is being raised by a gay or lesbian couple?
3. Have you ever known a gay or lesbian couple who raised a child? What were they like?
4. What do you think about the characteristics labeled to stepfamilies? Do you think these characteristics are realistic? Fair or unfair?
5. What do you think is the success rate for stepfamilies staying together within today's society? Do you think it's as easy as having a nuclear family? Would you remarry and attempt to join together your family and another if you were in that position?

Gattaca extra blog

I actually watched Gattaca for a class last year, and I thought it was a very interesting film. For people who haven't seen it, it's about a society that selects genes for their children to create the best possible people they can. If someone is not genetically selected, and born naturally, they don't have any access to good jobs and are at a much lower status in pretty much all areas of life. It's interesting to think about how this could affect society. It really shows how obsessed the world has become with perfectionism. I think it's a really good demonstration of how if people don't accept their own, and their family member's, flaws and play on their strengths that things can really get out of hand. Also, it shows the main character (who is naturally born) overcoming the adversity of the society and actually deceiving everyone into believing that he is of a perfect genetic make up to get a high status job. Proving, that even if people aren't entirely "perfect" that they can still do exactly what everyone else can, and maybe even be better at it. Overall, I think it just shows the importance of supporting people, no matter how impossible the task they want to accomplish seems.

Natalie LaBarbera

Chapter 16

1) Chapter 16 is about remarriages and stepfamilies that come out of that. It starts off by describing what it's like to be single again and start dating and cohabitation all over again. Then, it discusses the formation of a stepfamily. The next section is about characteristics of remarried couples. The the actual process of remarriage is talked about. The next part listed the differences between first marriages and remarriages. Then, dynamics between couples in stepfamilies was the next section. After that the diversity and complexity of stepfamilies was discussed. What it's like to live in a stepfamily was talked about next. Then, last, successful remarriages and stepfamilies.

2) One thing I thought was interesting was the different types of remarriage. The book listed every type of "remarriage" a couple has to go through. This consisted of emotional, psychic, community, parental, economic, and legal remarriage. I think this was something good and interesting to bring up because I think a lot of people forget about how much changing a marriage can truly change every aspect of life for someone.

3) One question I had was about the remarriage myths. These seemed like they would pretty commonly occur to me, so I was wondering if anyone in class has either had first-hand experience with any of the myths or if they have witnessed it in other families?

Natalie LaBarbera

Chapter 16 Blog

Summary:
Chapter 16 delves into remarriages and stepfamilies. After a marriage is ended, either by divorce or death, many people begin to look for another mate. Some get back into the dating scene and about half practice cohabitation before remarrying. Because of there being many remarriages, the rate of stepchildren per grandparent is growing fast, while the rate of biological children is dwindling. Whites have the highest remarriage rates compared to other races, but some of the difference is due to marriage rates and cultural views on marriage. Social class and whether or not children are involved also affect remarrying. Young, uneducated women remarry more than older, educated women, and in general, having children lowers the chance of remarriage. The book introduces six stages of remarrying, which are the emotional, psychic, community, parental, economic, and legal stages. Not all remarrying couples go through every stage. Some ways first and second marriages differ are in the redistribution of roles, having step-family, and organizing financial resources. About 15% more remarriages than first marriages end in divorce, though research on remarriage satisfaction is mixed. Stepfamilies are very complex. There are a lot of changes to make, such as creating and severing ties with in-laws/stepfamily, learning how to act as one cohesive family, and working through everyone’s expectations and stereotypes of the new family. Parents in stepfamilies have many problems related to how to act towards the children. They need to form good, emotionally close yet disciplining relationships with their new kids, create boundaries, and be aware of how accepting or resentful the kids are. Parents need much patience in all aspects. Children who have good relationships with all their parents are better off than those who don’t. Stepfamilies that are successful accomplish most of these tasks and are accepting and understanding of the whole situation. They work to collaborate as a new family while recognizing each family’s differences.

New Material:
Something new I learned was that 60% of remarriages end in divorce. I’m not surprised that the number is so high, and it makes a lot of sense, but I just never knew what the statistic was.

Question/Concern:
What do we think about the lack of laws about sexual relations between stepchildren? My opinion is that there don’t need to be any laws. I think it’s a pretty simple issue. Stepchildren aren’t biologically related so there’s no problem. It’s just like meeting a new person in school or something. It may not be the best idea though, because it could obviously cause a lot of familial tension.

Chapter 16

Chapter 16 examines the concept of remarriages and stepfamilies. According to the chapter, the median time between a divorce and marriage is 3.5 years. The chapter notes the complexity of dating after divorce. Dating may be even more challenging for couples who had been married for many years and had been out of the dating scene for that long amount of time. However, as seen above, the dating relationship often turns into another marriage within three or four years. Often times, previously divorced people will cohabitate with their new partners before they decide on remarriage. Along with remarriage often comes the combining of two different sets of children. The book defines a stepfamily as “a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents (heterosexual, gay, or lesbian) with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or to cohabit. The book notes that factors such as gender and social class affect whether an individual remarries. For example, the wealthier a divorced man is, the more likely he’ll remarry. The chapter discusses remarriage as part of a larger process, which includes emotional remarriage, psychic remarriage, community remarriage, parental remarriage, parental remarriage, economic remarriage, and legal remarriage. The book notes that first marriages and second marriages differ in multiple ways including family composition, role expectations and stress and resources. There are several myths associated with remarriage. The first is the nuclear family myth purports that the family members will all love and respect each other and form close bonds. The compensation myth is when an individual expects their new spouse to be everything that their ex spouse was not. The instant love myth is when stepparents assume that there will be an instant intimacy between them and their new stepchild. Finally, the rescue fantasy is when a stepparent believes they are rescuing a child from a too lenient or mean custodial parent. The points out that 60% of remarriages end in divorce. This is compared to the 45% of first marriages ending in divorce. The book notes three different types of step-families. These are mother-stepfather family, father-stepmother family, and the joint stepfamily. There are many stereotypes associated with step families including that of an evil step mother. The book notes that approximately 17% of American children live in a stepfamily. The book goes on to describe the effects that stepfamilies can have on children. Research results are mixed. Some studies find negative effects associated with being in a stepfamily while others find little to none negative effects. It has been found that boys have sex at a later age when they have a very involved step-father. All in all, it seems that strong relationships with custodial and noncustodial and stepparents has an effect on a child’s well being. There are different theories that explain these effects. Some of these include family stress theories, risk and resilience theories, social capital models and the cumulative effects hypothesis. Finally the book points out characteristics of successful stepfamilies. Some of these include developing realistic expectations, letting children mourn their losses, forging a strong couple relationship, taking on disciplinary roles gradually, developing own rituals, and working out satisfactory arrangements between children’s household.

Something new/interesting

Something interesting that I learned was the fact that the elderly in the future may have to begin to rely more heavily on their step-children than their biological children. The book points out that the more adult children see their step-parents as family, the more likely they’ll be to care for their step-parents as they age.

Discussion point

Do you feel like the myth of the step-mother as evil is still perpetuated today?

-Ali Mosser

Chapter 16 - Remarriage

1) Summary

After a couple gets a divorce, they become singles again. It seems that many people start dating after and even during the divorce process for several reasons such as they are afraid of remaining single, they want to fill the void after divorce with a new love or a new warm body.

Many people remarry however dating after divorce is a little different than before first marriage. For example, many divorced individuals prefer cohabitation as a test for relationship and they believe that braking up a cohabiting relationship is easier on little children. Also, if the individual was married for a long time they may feel uncomfortable or insecure about entering the dating world again. About half of remarriages start with cohabitation but not all cohabiting relationships end in marriage. Some people form step families through remarriage but some through cohabitation.

A step family is a household where there are two cohabiting or married adults and at least one of them has children from a previous relationship in the household living with them. It seems 1 in 3 people is involved with a step family. Combined with the fact that approximately 85 % of divorced individuals remarry, it indicates that Americans have not lost their faith in marriage.

One group most likely to remarry is young women with few marketable skills and want children, who are very attractive for older men. In addition, white women have a higher rate of remarriages than others. Socioeconomically, richer the man more chances he has to remarry. Less educated or poorer the woman, the more likely she is willing to remarry. However, the more educated or richer a woman, the more attractive she becomes however she has not much to gain from a remarriage. Presence of children also complicates dating and remarriage, especially for mothers who are likely the primary custodians. Some childless people may like the idea of an existing family to join, however for many it is a turn-off. And some women may rush into a marriage to fill the void of an absentee father.

Remarriage has multiple components like divorce; emotional, social, financial, parental, and finally legal. They also differ from first marriages by other aspects such as family composition, role expectations, changes across the lifecourse, and different sources of stress. There are also numerous myths about remarriages, such as nuclear family myth, compensation myth, instant love myth and the rescue fantasy.

On the brighter side, couples report more power equality in second marriages. Also, if things are working out, mothers feel more satisfied in a remarriage than divorced single mothers. However remarriage stability is not that high, since 60 % of them end up in divorce again.

Stepfamilies are very complex as well. There are mother-stepfather, father-stepmother and joint stepfamilies. beyond their complexity stepfamilies face unique problems and deal with unique tasks. In addition, stepfamilies face more stress and problems than nuclear families. One thing to keep in mind is that forming stepfamilies takes years and it is not an instant process. Also dynamics of important relationships are very different. Instead of stability there are continuous transitions and adaptations. Stepfamilies are less cohesive and require more flexibility. Some problems also include that stepfamilies have no shared history and members may have unrealistic expectations. Family roles are ambiguous and there may be divided loyalties.

2) Interesting findings:

I thought it was interesting to read that one out of three Americans is a stepparent or a stepchild. I wasn't aware that stepfamilies were this common.

3) Discussion:

On the rewards of remarriage section it is indicated that remarried couples tell that they have more rewards in their new marriage form the previous one. And when remarried parents are happy, children are more happy as well. Do you agree with these?

Eser