Chapter 9

Summary:

There are many people who live together, raising children alone, choosing not to get married, or just getting married at a younger age. A couple reasons I person may delay marriage is for educational purposes, preparing for a career, and participating in different activities before they settle down. In 1946 many people said that the ideal age to get married was at 25 for men and 21 for women; in 2006 those number became 27 for men and 25 for women.

There are four different types of singles:

Voluntary Temporary Singles – they are open to marriage but place a lower priority on searching for mates than on other activities (ex. Education, careers, politics)

Voluntary Stable Singles – have never married and are satisfied with their choice (they can be widowed or divorced and do not want to re-marry)

Involuntary Temporary Singles – would like to get married and are actively seeking a mate

Involuntary Stable Singles – are primarily older divorced, widowed, and never-married people who would like to marry or re-marry but haven’t found a suitable mate and accept their single status as permanent.

More than one in four Americans lives alone. 15% of women live alone; only 13% percent of men live alone. 79% of people who live alone are white. Reasons for living alone include: the fact that people can now afford to, our values emphasize individualism, people are living longer and healthier lives, and now there are more options.

The chart below will explain some factors, demographic, and reasons that influence why more people are single:

Macro-Level Factors
War, Technology, and Social Movements	· Marriage rates drop during wars · Technological advances in contraceptive techniques · Social movements shape our definitions of acceptable relationships (Women’s Movement)
Economic Factors	· Economic depressions, recessions, and unemployment tend to delay marry for men. · Economic slumps reduce the marriage market for singles
Gender Roles	· Technological and economic transitions affect gender roles; as gender roles change, so does attitudes about marriage and self-sufficiency · There is no longer a stigma associated with single women living together
Demographic Influences
The Sex Ratio	· Expressed as a whole number, is the proportion of men to women in a country or group
Marriage Squeeze	· A sex imbalance in the ratio of unmarried women and men; do to this differences someone can be squeezed out of the market because of differences in wealth, power, status, education, and age
Social Class	· People of low income believe they should first achieve a level of financial stability · Having an education also plays a role
Non-Marital Childbearing
	· They are many never-married mothers are likely to remain single because they cannot find a good husband
Individual Reasons
Waiting For a Soul Mate	Waiting to meet their “ideal mate” or “true love”
Being Independent	Independence is the biggest benefit; single can do just about whatever they want
Enjoying Close Relationships	Marriage is not sought because they already have close peers in which they get support and companionship from
Making a Commitment	Some people just do not want to be married
Having Children	Now that out-of-wedlock parenting and cohabitation are widely accepted, there is less pressure to get married
Fearing Divorce	Divorce and prolonged years of conflict between parents can have a negative effect on young adults perception of marriage
Being Healthy and Physically Attractive	Emotional and physical health and physical appearance appeal affect singlehood (ex. Nerdy guy wants popular girls, and he keeps going after them and getting denied so he will remain single instead of re-evaluating “his type”)

Like everything else, there are myths about singles that are widely used. Myths include:

1. Singles are selfish and self-centered.
2. Singles are well-off financially.
3. Singles are usually lonely and miserable and want to marry.
4. Singles are promiscuous or don’t get any sex.
5. Singles’ children are doomed to a life of poverty as well as emotional and behavioral problems.
6. Singles worry about growing old and dying alone.
7. There’s something wrong with people who don’t marry.

Cohabitation is a living arrangement in which two unrelated people are not married but live together and are in a sexual relationship. The amount of heterosexual cohabitating couples in America, as of 2010, is over 7 million. The acceptance of cohabitation had increased significantly. The book talks about four different types of cohabitation:

Dating Cohabitation – occurs when a couple who spends a great deal of time together eventually moves in together.

Premarital Cohabitation – the couple is testing the relationship before making the final commitment; may or may not be engaged, but they plan to marry.

Trial Marriage – the partners what to see what marriage would be like to be married; they are not worried about the relationship, but want to see if they can deal with the everyday problems that arrive in marriages

Substitute Marriage – a long term commitment between two people who do not plan on getting married

Cohabitants are mainly in their mid-30s to mid-40s. By the age of 30 half of all the U.D women have cohabitated. The highest rate of cohabitating is among American Indians/Native Americans and African Americans. Cohabitation is more common among people of lower educational and income levels. Religion is another factor in cohabitation; the more religious a person is, the less likely they are to cohabitate. Some cost and benefits of cohabitation are listed below.

Benefits

• Couples have the emotional security of an intimate relationship
• Partners can dissolve the relationship without legal problems, and they can leave abusive relationships more easily
• Couples who postpone marriage have a lower likelihood of divorce
• Can help people find out how much they really care about each other when they have to deal with unpleasant situations
• May increase the chances of receiving care that is usually provided by a spouse (65 and older)
• Do not have to deal with in-laws
• Children can benefit from living with two adult earners, instead of a single mother

Costs

• Partners may experience a loss of identity or feeling of being trapped
• Women do more of the cooking and other household tasks in cohabitating relationships than married women
• Weaker commitment in relationship
• More negative behavior may be demonstrated after marriage
• Dilutes intergenerational ties
• U.S. laws do not specify a cohabitant’s responsibilities and rights

Gay and lesbian relationships are extremely similar to those of their heterosexual counterparts. They have common aspects such as love and commitment, power and division of labor, problems and conflicts, and racial variations.

New Things:

I did not know that there were so many different types of cohabitation. I thought people kind of just moved in with each other and that was that. I don't think put that much thinking (as far as the sociological reasoning) into deciding on whether they want to move in with someone.

Discussion:

I want to get the class' opinion on if they think that when a couple decides to move in with each other so they specifically think about why they are doing in and distinctly decide amongst themselves what type of cohabitation it will be? Or will is it more of an "I Love You, and I want you to move in with me" type of thing?