Chapter 10

Summary:

Chapter 10 is based on marriage and the one thing that seems to govern this union, communication in the intimate relationship. While taking the quiz at the opening of the chapter I found the questions to be odd. They were general and based on parts of the relationship that seem ambiguous such as health, sex, and luck. After finishing the quiz with 6 true and 6 false responses, I came to find that I had fallen into 6 myths about marriage myself. As a young adult in a committed relationship, I find this to be slightly disconcerting considering that I have looked in to marriage myself. At the beginning of the chapter, we ask ourselves for what reasons do people get married and by the end we discover the various ways in which to keep a marriage strong and healthy.

Looking at the chart presented on page 261 it is easy to see that Western culture is in the minority when marrying for love and commitment. As an American, I see all around me, in the West we mostly seem to marry out of love. However, I know friends who are from various other countries and know many things about arranged marriages. These types of marriage are not out of love, for financial benefits, or for health care benefits. They are based mostly on religion, upbringing, or social norms of the country. While there are good and bad reasons for marriage, the most shocking to me was a marriage based on revenge. How can one person marry another when it is obvious that he or she is only in it for revenge on their ex-partner.

We later look at what to expect from marriage and some of the rituals that are often seen during this sacred time. Also, different types of marriage are introduced such as conflict-habituated marriage, devitalized marriage, vital marriage, and total marriage. Another common marital situation (profoundly in the United States) is cross-cultural marriages.

Next, we see the ways in which to succeed in marriage. Compatibility, flexibility, a positive attitude, communication, and emotional support are the most important aspects leading to a successful marriage. As far as how marriage affects health, we see there are benefits such as protection and comfort; however, there are possible negative affects in less than healthy relationships (i.e. physically or mentally abusive relationships).

Finally, we see some of the other aspects of marriage. How to resolve an argument, what we may fight about, and the roles which the male and female are 'expected' to play are a few of these aspects. While there is a great deal of information throughout this chapter, it all seems to lead back to marriage and its many diverse affects on society as a whole.

Interest:

I found it interesting to know that many myths of marriage have become near fact and it can sometimes be nearly impossible to distinguish between the two.

Question:

Does being married categorize the partners as adults or is this just a means to an end for two individuals?