Chapter 9: Singlehood, Cohabitation, Civil Unions, and Other Options

Summary:

This section of the book focuses on singlehood, cohabitation, civil unions, and other options present to individuals. The book then begins with a discussion of what it refers to as “the single option.” One fact that is posed is that many people today are choosing life styles other than marriage in current times, such as simply not marrying, living together, or raising children alone, just to name a few options. Additionally, many individuals are now postponing marriage, and instead pursuing their careers, education, spending more time on recreation, etc. Being single has become a much more acceptable status as well in the past twenty years, but still there is a pressure on many young people to marry nevertheless.

There are several kinds of singles, showing the many levels of diversity present. These include:

· Voluntary Temporary Singles è These individuals are open to marriage but place the emphasis of their lives on education, career, politics, and self-development rather than searching for a mate.

· Voluntary Stable Singles è These individuals have either never been married or are divorced/widowed. However, they choose to not to marry and/or seek mates.

· Involuntary Temporary Singles è These individuals are actively seeking a mate and would like to marry.

· Involuntary Stable Singles è These individuals would like to remarry, but do to other circumstances, have resigned to and/or accepted their status as a single individual.

One important fact to note is that an individual is not stuck in one of these categories. As time passes and as a person changes, he/she may change from category to category. The book then discusses single adults with an emphasis on later life (older). Two main factors discussed here are the double standard of ageing and some advantages/disadvantages of being single in later life. The double standard of ageing is that men, as they age, are generally considered more “mature” and “distinguished,” whereas women are described as “over the hill.”

Next, the book discusses who all lives alone in today’s society and who does not. More women live alone, with older individuals also being more likely to live alone as well. In addition to this, white individuals are more likely to live alone than any other ethnic group. People live alone for multiple reasons:

· It is more affordable to live alone.

· Many values in today’s society value individualism.

· Many individuals are living longer and healthier lives, allowing them to “live independently after retirement.”

· Many individuals simply have more options now than before due to the view of singlehood being more acceptable in today’s society.

The book then gives and in-depth discussion as to why more individuals are now single than in past times. This can be divided into macro-level factors, demographic influences, and individual reasons:

· Macro-Level factors:

o War, technology, and even social movements (all of which one ahs little to no control over) have led to individuals living alone more than ever.

o Economic factors, such as depressions and recessions, lead to more people postponing marriage and focusing on their careers, etc.

o Technology and economic transitions play a role in shaping gender roles, and as they change, so do the beliefs about marriage, self-sufficiency, etc.

· Demographic influences:

o Sex Ratio è The proportion of men to women in a country or group.

o Marriage Squeeze è Sex imbalance in relation to the ratio of available unmarried women and men.

o Social class, in that individuals in lower social classes have a higher likelihood of marrying as compared to individuals in higher social classes.

o Non-Marital childbearing.

· Individual reasons:

o Waiting for a soul mate.

o Being independent.

o Enjoying close relationships.

o Making a commitment.

o Having children.

o Fearing divorce.

o Being healthy and physically attractive.

New/Interesting/Unusual Items Learned:

I thought it was interesting how many different factors are presented in why individuals are more prevalent now than in the past. Additionally, the book divided up singles into four distinct categories, which I had not thought of doing before.

Discussion:

Why, with so many people out there looking for partners, and with the addition of more ways to communicate, etc., is it still so difficult for some people to find a potential mate?

Karl Wahlen