Chapter 10

Chapter 10 starts out with talking about some of the right reasons for getting married. Some of the reasons listed in this chapter include: love and companionship, children, adult identity, commitment and personal fulfillment, and continuity and permanence. Some of the wrong reasons for getting married that the book listed are: social legitimacy, social pressure, economic security, rebellion or revenge, and practical solutions to problems. Marriage is a critical rite of passage in almost every culture. The chapter explains that in the United States, the major events that mark the beginning of a marriage are engagement, showers and bachelor or bachelorette parties, and the wedding itself. There are different types of marriages in the United States. Some of the different types discussed in the chapter include: conflict-habituated marriage, passive-congenial marriage, vital marriage, and total marriage. The first three categories would be considered utilitarian marriages because they appeared to be based on convenience. The last two types are considered intrinsic marriages because the relationships seemed to be inherently rewarding. The chapter then goes into discussion about martial stability and marital satisfaction. Marital stability refers to whether a marriage is intact and whether the spouses have ever suggested divorce to each other. Marital satisfaction refers to whether a husband or wife sees the marriage as a good one. According to the chapter the things that are important in a successful marriage include: compatibility, flexibility, positive attitudes, communication and conflict resolution, and emotional support. It is also stated that marriage generally increases a person’s physical and mental health. Married women are less likely than married men to enjoy good health. The chapter then goes into defining the term marital burnout. Marital burnout is the gradual deterioration of love and ultimate loss of an emotional attachment between partners. Marital burnout can develop so slowly and quietly that the couple is not aware of it. Marital roles are the specific ways in which married couples define their behavior and structure their time. The chapter then goes into focusing on the variations in domestic roles. Domestic work includes two major activities: house-keeping (cooking, cleaning, laundering, outdoor work, repairs) and child rearing. One of the most important functions of the family is to socialize children to become responsible and contributing members of society. Couples in their midlife years must continually adapt to new conditions. The most common adjustments involve intergeneration ties, relationships with in-laws, the empty nest syndrome, and the boomerang generation. It is stated that effective communication can decrease the power struggles and hostility that can lead to breakups in marriages and other relationships.

I found reading the section entitled “The ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’” to be a very interesting section to read about. I am the youngest of four children, so when I went away to college my parents considered themselves ‘empty nesters.’ In the text it states that children’s departure gives many married couples a chance to enjoy each other’s company. That is exactly what my parents are doing now. They really enjoy each other and love spending time together. I just found it interesting to read this section because I could really relate my parents to it.

The text talks a lot about the right and wrong reasons for getting married. The question that I have for the class is do you think most people in our society get married for the right reason or do you think a lot of people marry for all the wrong reason? Explain.

Maria Nicholas