Summary:
Chapter 8 is titled “Dating and Mate Selection”. It talks about a lot of things related to choosing mates including aspects of traditional dating and what different cultures think about how dating should progress. Certain cultures pick mates based on wealth and what the other family can give them in exchange for the marriage. It talks about some of the functions of dating, like to show maturity, show love, sexually experiment, and to have a companion. Some people who are unsure about dating or want help meeting others look to less traditional ways. They put ads in newspapers, find dating sites or matchmakers, participate in speed dating, and men may even buy mail-order brides. The filter theory works by explaining that people have criteria for their partners and filter out those who don’t fit it. Some criteria can be age, values, and appearance. Some people also try to broaden their horizons and are open to dating people outside their normal expectations. Also, statistics are given about dating violence and harmful relationships are discussed.
New Material:
Something I found interesting was the effect of the prevalence of unmarried men in China and how it is somewhat normal for there to be matchmaking sessions in parks in Beijing where parents can search for compatible mates. I find it a little extreme that the parents are so worried for their mid-20s unmarried children.
Question:
The book asked this question in a caption and I wanted to know some of the class’s ideas on it: Why are people less likely to approve of relationships in which the woman is significantly older than the man?
One argument could be the biological argument that men develop much more slowly than women. Because of this, it has become more socially acceptable to have a man in a relationship with a younger woman but not the other way around. After this has become an embedded social norm, deviations of it are seen as negative and frowned upon. This may not explain it entirely, but it may shed some light on one possibility for why this phenomenon occurs.
ReplyDeleteKarl Wahlen
Another possibility is that women are thought to have biological clocks that are ticking, or running out. Maybe if an older woman in her 40s is with a younger guy, it is thought to be "wasting his time", or not giving him a fair chance at having a family. I feel like this would be a person would have if they were supporting a male dominated society. This may even be stretch but I feel someone in this world would think something like this.
ReplyDelete-Jade
I agree with your "New Material" section. I also find it odd that these parents are concerned about their kids finding mates. Why should they even be part of the process, is what I was wondering.
ReplyDeleteBrian Bitner