Chapter 9

Summary

Chapter nine discusses singles as well as other living options such as cohabitation, communal living, and gay and lesbian couples. To begin, there are several groups that single adults can fall into. First, there are voluntary temporary singles who are open to marriage, but it is not a high priority for them. Secondly, there are voluntary stable singles who have never married or are divorced or widowed and never plan on getting married. Third, there are involuntary temporary singles who “would like to marry and are actively seeking a mate”. And lastly, there are involuntary stable singles who are often older and would like to marry or remarry, but haven’t found a partner and have accepted their single status as permanent.

Generally, older, white women are most likely to live alone. This is due to the fact that on average women live longer, are less likely to remarry, and can often care for themselves into their 80s and 90s. There are several factors why one might live alone. Macro-level factors include war, technology, economics, social movements, and gender roles. Demographic influences include the sex ratio, the proportion of men to women, and the marriage squeeze, “a sex imbalance in the ratio of available unmarried women and men”. In addition, social class and non-marital childbearing are also influential factors. There are also numerous individual reasons which include independence, enjoying close relationships, not wanting commitment, being unhealthy or unattractive, fearing divorce, or having children.

Cohabitation is a growing trend in the U.S. and there are several types of cohabitation including dating cohabitation, premarital cohabitation, trial marriage, and substitute marriage. A majority of cohabitants are women between 25 and 44. In terms of race and ethnicity, American Indians/Native Alaskans and African Americans are most likely to cohabitate. In addition, individuals with low education and income levels are more likely to cohabitate than those with a bachelor’s degree or higher and a full time career. There are numerous costs and benefits to cohabitation. However, cohabitants have higher divorce rates and cohabitation is often disadvantageous to children.

Gay and lesbian couples are very similar to heterosexual couples. They, too, value love and commitment and “want an enduring relationship” and experience problems and conflict. However, most gay and lesbian couples report having equal power and a division of labor that is based on one’s individual characteristics or skills rather than gender roles.

Communes, “collective households in which children and adults from different families live together”, are less popular today but are most common on college campuses. Communes are also becoming popular among low-income single mothers and elderly single adults because they fulfill their economic and social needs.

What I Learned

I learned that there are many different dimensions to singlehood. Also, I never really thought of men and women who live together but aren’t married as “single”.

Question/Concern

I didn't agree with all of the myths about being single, especially the one that stated “singles worry about growing old and dying alone”. Personally, I know that among my single friends, and myself included, it is very common to worry about never finding “the one” and getting married.