Chapter 8

Summary:

In Chapter 8 we learned about:

- Dating is not that popular on college campuses because there is lack of time, low income, and no need to date.
- This is not the case in other places. A bulk of Americans that are 18 and older are:
• Either dating
• Or would like to date

- The interest in dating for Americans 18 and younger has declined. However, 24% of high school seniors commented that they date frequently.

Dating involves:
- Taking risks with the resources we invest
- The more valuable catch we seek
• The more we are going to want to devote time/money into looking good
- Meet the needs of our partner’s personality/interests
- Getting along with our partners friends/family

Manifest functions of dating consist of:
- Maturation- dating gives the impression that an adolescent is reaching puberty
- Fun and recreational- going out with people we are compatible with relieves:
• Boredom
• Stress
• Loneliness
- Companionship- can ease heartbreak
- Love and affection- dating is a way to get closer to another person. The relationship may not last. However, initiating a date means that you are in love or you wanted a caring and serious relationship.
- Mate selection- when a person dates they are searching for a marital partner

Latent Functions of Dating:
- Socialization- when dating a person learns about:
• Expected gender roles
• Family structures may differ from personal family structure
• Different attitudes, beliefs, and values
- Social status- dating a person that is attractive or successful can increase a persons status and dignity
- Fulfillment of ego needs- getting asked out on a date or having someone accept your invitation can enhance a person’s self-image/self-esteem
- Sexual experimentation and intimacy- majority of teenagers learn about sex when dating
- Big business- dating can provide an economic market for products/services like:
• Clothing
• Grooming
• Food
• Entertainment

Traditional Dating- Follow distinct culturally defined gender role scripts (among the middle class).

Contemporary Dating- Casual, hanging out, getting together, and hooking up

Traditional-Contemporary Dating- There is more acceptance for either sex to initiate a date or and invitation many gender scripts remain traditional.

Dating in Later Life:
- When a person starts dating after being widowed or after a divorce it can be:
• Therapeutic
• Intimidating

Enhances:
• Self-esteem
• Decrease loneliness
• Reassess a person’s strengths and weaknesses

Different ways of meeting people:
• Friends and family members
• Clubs, college classes, and recreational activities
• Personal classified advertisements, mail-order brides, professional match making, speed dating, and cyber-dating

- Figure 8.2 on page 211 has a diagram on the Filter Theory of Mate Selection

- Homogamy and the Filter Theory of Narrowing the Marriage Market consist of:
• Propinquity
• Physical appearance
• Ethnicity and Race
• Religion
• Age
• Social Class
• Values and Personality

- Heterogamy: Expanding the Marriage market pertains to:
• Same-sex relationships
• Social Class Relationships
• Religion
• Racial and Ethnic Boundaries

Modern and Traditional Societies:
- Majority of other countries do not have open courtship systems that are relevant to the Western nations. Instead the other countries go by:
• Wealth
• Age
• Values- that consists of traditional mate selection arrangements

Arranged Marriages:
- The community or family is more important than the individual
- Disappearing in some countries but are an anchor in other countries

- On page 225 How Abusers Control Dating Relationships make some valid points

- There are many explanations for dating violence/ date rape

- Some of the most important explanations are:
• Family Violence
• Gender Roles
• Peer Pressure and secrecy
• Use of alcohol/ variety of drugs

Why we Break Up:
- Individual Reasons (micro) a few examples are:
• Stalking
• Communication problems
• Physical abuse

- Structural Reasons (macro) a few examples are:
• Moving away
• Economic reasons
• Disapprove of relationship

Interests/ Unusual Items Learned:

The thing that I found interesting in chapter 8 were the ask yourself box on page 219.
Other things I found interesting in chapter 8:
• how different cultures date
• how different cultures marry
• abusive relationship information
• the breaking up information.

The topics that I listed I found to be informative because I was lacking information on the topics or I was completely unaware of the information given in the text.

Discussion:

The picture that is on page 222, and the caption that is below the picture was quite disturbing to me as well as heart breaking and interesting.

Another point that I found interesting is that fathers would sell their young daughters to be a young bride because the younger the bride, a higher price could be obtained through the sale of the daughter. Ultimately, the father could ward off poverty with that sale.

I found it disturbing because the age difference between the bride and the groom can be a tremendous difference. The example shown on page 222 describes the bride to be 11 years old and the groom who is 40 years old. That is a 29-year age difference. The bride is a mere child. Do you think a couple with this big of an age difference could even have a loving relationship? And, how could someone that age know anything about marriage?

Maybe I am misunderstanding this particular type of marriage as shown in this picture/caption because for me it is weird to have such an age difference; however, this is the tradition in some countries. How could a father sell their daughter for the exchange of money in order to get out of poverty? Is their any emotion during this exchange? Or, is there awkwardness when selling a daughter to a man that is 29 years older than her?

What are your thoughts on this discussion?

Natalie Sebula