Chapter 8

This chapter was about dating and mate selection. The chapter begins by explaining why people date and gives us the latent and manifest functions of dating. The manifest functions of dating include: Maturation, fun and recreation, companionship, love and affection, and mate selection. The latent functions of dating are socialization, social status, fulfillment of ego needs, sexual experimentation and intimacy, and big business for the economic market for products and services. The chapters develops the dating spectrum defining how traditional dating and contemporary dating contrast or work together at times. It goes over the various ways people are able to meet each other through personal classified advertisements, mail-order brides, professional matchmakers, speed dating, and cyberdating. Homogamy and Heterogamy play a role in mate selection and depending on which we engage in it presents various choices/constraints on individuals. The chapter addressing the harmful aspects of relationships in respect to how dating violence, rape, and power and control within relationships effect individuals caught in such situations. Then finally the topic of breaking up is discussed--why we break up has to do with a multitude of reasons which can be categorized into Individual reasons (such as communication problems, emotional and physical abuse, controlling behavior, etc) and Structural reasons (such as moving away, societal disapproval, same-sex partners, etc).

While reading through the chapter it was interesting to see how many different ways people are able to find each other. There are a variety of ways that people begin dating across the world as cultural values come into play.

I never knew about mail-order brides--they are services that hook up underprivileged women from foreign countries such as the Philippines, Russia, and South Asian countries with American men. These men are extremely older than most of the women they marry by 20-50 years. That is ridiculous!! I mean at least if the husband dies, the wife is left with a bunch of assets but in most cases these women are sought after because the men desire a "subservient homemaker." The unfortunate part of this situation is that the American male turns out to be an abuser and there have been some cases of murder and abused wives, according to the book.

I was surprised to see how common Homogamy is in other parts of the world such as Afghanistan, India, and Saudi Arabia. Its surprising because of all the health complications that arise with baring a child from a homogamous relationship.

Also, the fact that arranged marriages so widespread yet today many women go to extremes to avoid such marriages by dousing themselves with fuel and setting themselves on fire, as the book informs.

And still, the rule stands that the person who cares least about the relationship has all the power. How does this happen? Usually if you don't care about something, you are powerless. Doesn't anyone else find this puzzling? I mean don't get me wrong, it totally makes sense since the person who holds the power is indifferent towards the matters of the relationship, the other is struggling to hold it together because they are more dependent on their partner because of their affection for them. Why do people force the situation? If one person is clearly more into the relationship than their partner, why do they settle when it would be a lot better for them to move on and find someone who will provide and share their feelings mutually? Is it because breaking up is so hard to do and perhaps there are a lot of people out there who fear being on their own?