Chapter Seven

Summary:

Sexuality is an idea that incorporates psychological, biological, and sociological aspects; some of these components are sexual desire, sexual response, and gender roles. Part of ones sexuality is their sexual orientation (or preference for sexual partners of the same sex, the opposite sex, both sexes, or neither sex).

· Homosexuals: people who are sexually attracted to people of the same sex.

· Heterosexuals: people who are attracted to people of the opposite sex.

· Bisexuals: people who are attracted to both sexes

· Asexuals: people who lack any interest in or desire of sex.

Along with there being many different types of sexual orientations, there are many people who are classified as transgendered, but this classification encompasses different types of people such as:

· Transsexuals: people who are born with one biological sex but choose to live their life as another sex by consistently cross-dressing or by surgically changing their body.

· Intersexual: people whose medical classification at birth is not clearly male or female.

· Transvestites: people who cross-dress at times but don’t necessarily consider themselves a member of the opposite sex.

No one knows what determine one’s orientation, but there are a couple different theories use to try and determine the cause.

· Biological theory: says that sexual orientation has a strong genetic basis. (ex. “gay gene")

· Social constructionist theory: says that sexual behavior is largely the result of social pressure and that culture, not biology, plays a large role in forming out sexual identity.

Many people like to think that they are spontaneous when it comes to sexual behavior; however, most of us have sexual scripts that we follow, either consciously or unconsciously. Sexual scripts are the formal or informal norms for legitimate or unacceptable sexual activity, the eligibility of sexual partners, and the boundaries of sexual behavior. Sexual scripts are often influenced by;

1. Gender

a. Boys are expected to be masculine and girls are expected to be feminine

b. Expectation that men will be sexually aggressive, always want sex, and that their urges is uncontrollable.

2. Race and Ethnicity

a. Latinos: “good women” are not expected to be highly sexual, or initiate sexual relations; while men are expected to be passionate, and use sex to prove their masculinity

b. Black: 77% of women say they are not having sex unless they are in love; while only 43%

c. Whites: boys start having sex younger than girls, and also have more partners

Researchers have found that there are four different categories of reason as to why a person would have (or has had) sex.

Reasons Why People Have Sex
Category	Reasons
Physical	Stress reduction, pleasure, physical desirability, experience seeking
Goal Attainment	Obtaining resources, social status, revenge
Emotional	Love, commitment, expression of feelings
Insecurity	Boosting one’s self-esteem, duty, pressure, guarding a mate from a competitor

There are different reasons for having sex the first time:

1. Interpersonal Reasons: sex is an expression of affection and a way of communicating, following impulses of physical arousal, and satisfying curiosity about sex.

2. Peer Pressure: girls are pressured by male friends or boyfriends, males may have sex to stop getting teased by friends, and one may feel obligated to have sex so that they do not hurt the other person's feelings or lose their interest.

3. Parental Inputs: mothers may when their children have sex; mothers can delay their daughters first time experience if talk to the parents of her friends, disapprove of adolescent sex, have a close relationship with their daughter. With boys mothers do not have as much control, but if they have a close relationship with their sons there may be a chance that he will delay sex.

4. Structural Factors: family turbulence such as marriage, divorce, living with a single parent that is sexually active, living in a cohabiting household where adults do not have authority, living in neighborhoods where adults are not good role models

No matter the reasons as to why people are having sex, there is proof that neither young adults nor adolescents know enough about sex.

Below is a list of things that influence sexual behavior.

· Parents: many parents do not know that their children as having sex. They also do not know to talk about sex with their children; how are they supposed to teach their children about safe sex, but also tell them not to do it, or to just say no? Many parents give their children one big talk to just get it over with. Parents who have open discussion with their children about sex more than once will develop closer ties with their child, and give their child more opportunities to ask more questions. Talks that involve topics such as STI’s, unwanted pregnancies, and the responsibilities of being as parent, as well as parental supervision often result in teenagers’ postponing sex, practicing safer sexual behaviors, and have fewer sexual partners.

· Peers and Siblings: many adolescents get their knowledge of sex from their peers; the blind leading the blind. Peers are more open to talk about sex than parents are, the offer support when a friend feel insecure about signs or maturing, and they encourage their friend to get information about birth control when parents are not willing to. Older siblings will most likely not tell their younger sibling to not have sex, but they will be able to add and build onto the little bit of information that a parent may have provided, and they will also be able to advise their younger siblings about practicing safe sexual behaviors.

· Religion: religious parents who monitor their children’s activities and have strong parent-child relationships tend to delay their children’s sexual activities. However, religion affects an adolescent’s sexual attitudes more than their sexual actions.

· Media and Popular Culture: movies, music, television, magazines, romance novels, the internet, and even pornographic materials are sources of information, whether correct of false, about sex

o Magazines: Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Mademoiselle, and YM are all magazines that sell sex and have many sex-related articles.

o Movies: film ratings have become much more lenient. Movies often give the impression that sexual behaviors outside of a marriage are more enjoyable and common; they also place an emphasis on casual sex.

o Television: 70% of all shows contain some sexual content. Now, 11% of shows depict sexual intercourse. Adolescents who watched sexually related content on television were twice as more likely to engage in sexual intercourse.

o Internet: many parents have the control to block the site that their children are visiting. The Children’s Internet Protection Act of 2000 requires that all public schools and libraries to have filters to block pornographic content in order to receive discounted rates, and to reduce their risk of losing federal funding. However, these filters often block out important, accurate information that adolescents may be seeking about herpes, birth control, safer sex, gay health, women’s health, and STIs.

· Sex Education: since parents are not quite sure, or effective at talking to their children about sex, school and community groups have taken on that responsibility. 90% of parent approve of the comprehensive sexuality education which teaches children about abstinence, but also provides information that is accurate about condoms and other contraception.

Sex is not just sexual intercourse; there are different types of sexual behaviors.

· Flirting: flirting is defined as “acting amorously”. Flirting can be both verbal and nonverbal. Flirting is tricky, because the message can often be mistaken as friendliness, or friendliness can be mistaken for flirting.

· Kissing: the ideas behind kissing are different in different cultures. Some cultures may find kissing as the most intimate sexual behavior and should not be done in public (resulting in fines), and other cultures may tolerate a couple’s public display of affection.

· Autoeroticism: the arousal of sexual feeling without an external stimulus.

o Sexual Fantasies: sexual fantasies are mental images of sexual activities. Sexual fantasies are emotionally and psychologically healthy. They can boost one’s self-image, because one doesn’t have to worry about penis or breast size, physical attractiveness, height, or weight.

o Masturbation: masturbation is sexual self-pleasuring that involves some form of direct physical stimulation, which may or may not result in an organism. This includes rubbing, stroking, fondling, squeezing, or stimulating the genitals. Most of the time masturbation begins in childhood, after a child accidently finds a way to create a great feeling. Masturbation can relieve sexual tension, provide a safe way to experiment sexual (avoiding disease and pregnancy), and learning about one’s sexuality and how that would play a role in love making.

· Oral and Anal Sex: fellatio is the oral stimulation of a man’s penis, and cunnilingus is the oral stimulation of a woman’s genitals. Anal sex is the manual stimulation of the rectum that involves inserting a penis, finger, dildo, or vibrator. These types of sexual behaviors depend on personal preferences. However, they are capable of transmitting sexual diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, and the papilloma virus.

· Sexual Intercourse: this term applies to any sort of coupling, including oral and anal. Coitus specifically refers to penile-vaginal intercourse. Men have more than three times as many sexual partners as women do. Some myths about sex:

o Withdrawal is an effective birth control method: a pregnancy can still result if a man withdrawals before ejaculation because the penis emits several drops of fluid that are not semen but may contain sperm cells.

o Erections, ejaculation, and orgasms, are connected: penile erections, ejaculations, and orgasms do not occur at the same time because they are affected by different neurological and vascular systems.

o The bigger the penis, the better the sex: there is no association between the clitoris, breast, or penis size and orgasm.

o We can always tell if a partner has had an orgasm: orgasms can be explosive or mild, depending on the woman’s emotional or physical state, stress, alcohol consumption, and a couple of other factors.

o An orgasm is necessary for good sex: about 5 to 10% of women never experience an orgasm, yet they enjoy sex throughout the their lives.

Sexuality Throughout Life

Virginity and Abstinence: a virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse. The first sexual experience can be a satisfying one, but also a source of worry, disappointment, or guilt. Most adolescents are having sexual intercourse before they understand the sexual anatomy, contraception, or even develop any sexual values.

Sex and Singles: traditionally men should be the ones that initiate sexual contact, but many young women are beginning to initiate it in other way (ex. going to a man’s apartment or a guy’s dorm room). There is still a double standard when it comes to men and women’s sexual behavior. Permissive women are thought to be great for casual dates and hooking up, but not suitable for marriage.

Sex in Marriage: the amount of time a married couple has sex tends to decrease over time, because the couples become overworked, are anxious about the economy, and have devoted a majority of their time to raising their children. Even though the frequency of sex decreases in marriage, married couples are more satisfied with their sex lives because fondling and genital stimulation may increase.

Sex during the Middle Years: as we get older sex become less of a priority, coming after good health, spiritual well-being, good ties with family and friends, and financial security. Women go through menopause, and men have a decrease in testosterone levels.

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) are diseases that are spread by contact, either sexual or nonsexual, with body parts or fluids that harbor specific microorganism. These are commonly referred to as Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). There are at least 50 different types of STIs. syphilis is the most common, and gonorrhea is the most common bacterial infection. The most serious is the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). This virus causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) which is a degenerative condition that attacks the body's immune system and makes it unable to fight a number of diseases. HIV and AIDS are contractable through anal sex, oral sex, drug use, sharing needles, and having multiple partners.

New Things:

One new thing that was brought to my attention was the ages of those who attend purity balls. It says that girls as young as four are participating in them.

Discussion:

The thing I found interesting is that fathers are taking their young (four year old) daughters to purity balls. How can one expect a four year to make such a big promise to their father at a young age? Parents find it hard to talk to their children about sex, and I do not think they would find it any easier talking to their four year old about sex, so how does this little girl even know what she is pledging. I have a five year old sister and I could not image her being able to comprehend all that is actually going on at these balls beside the getting dressed up in a pretty gown. Isn't this too much to ask of a toddler?