Chapter 8

1.) Chapter 8 is “Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection.” It discusses:

· How Often We Date

· Why Do We Date?

· Manifest Functions of Dating

· Maturation

· Fun and recreation

· Companionship

· Love and affection

· Mate selection

· Latent Functions of Dating

· Socialization

· Social status

· Fulfillment of ego needs

· Sexual experimentation and intimacy

· Big business

· The Dating Spectrum

· Traditional Dating

· “Traditional date”

· “Going steady”

· Contemporary Dating

· Hanging out

· Getting together

· Hooking up

· Traditional-Contemporary Combinations

· Proms and Homecoming Parties

· Dinner Dates

· Dating in Later Life

· Meeting Others

· Personal Classified Advertisements

· Mail-Order Brides

· Professional Matchmakers

· Speed Dating

· Cyberdating

· Choosing Whom We Date: Choices and Constraints

· Homogamy and Filter Theory: Narrowing the Marriage Market

· Homogamy: dating or marrying someone with similar social characteristics, such as ethnicity and age

· Filter Theory: we sift eligible people according to specific criteria and thus narrow the pool of potential partners to a small number of candidates

· Heterogamy: Expanding the Marriage Market

· Heterogamy: dating or marrying someone from a social, racial, ethnic, religious, or age group that is different from one’s own

· Theories of Mate Selection

· Social Exchange Theory: people are attracted to prospective partners who they believe will provide them with the best possible deal in a relationship

· Equity Theory: an extension of social exchange theory; an intimate relationship is satisfying and stable if both partners see it as equitable and mutually beneficial

· Mate Selection Across Cultures

· Modern and Traditional Societies

· Heterogamy and Homogamy

· Arranged and Free Choice Marriages

· How Mate Selection Methods Are Changing

· Harmful Dating Relationships: Power, Control, and Violence

· Power and Control in Dating Relationships

· Waller’s Principle of Least Interest: the partner who is least interested in the relationship has more power

· Prevalence of Dating Violence

· Dating Violence

· Acquaintance and Date Rape

· Factors Contributing to Date Violence and Date Rape

· Family Violence

· Gender Roles

· Peer Pressure and Secrecy

· Use of alcohol and other drugs

· Consequences of Dating Violence and Date Rape

· Solutions

· Breaking Up

· Why We Break Up

· How We React

· Is Breaking Up Healthy?

2.) Through my reading, I did not necessarily learn anything new, but my experiences helped me understand the ideas better. I found myself saying “that makes sense” to a majority of the material presented. I was actually surprised to read (on page 227) that in the case of Chris Brown’s assault on Rihanna, 46% of teenagers (of a survey of 200 teenagers in Boston) said Rihanna was responsible for the beating. What is wrong with society that nearly half of the teenagers surveyed believe that it’s the victim’s fault for their beating?

3.) The chapter brought up a good question I would like to highlight and possibly discuss in class: “Many teenagers and young adults think that hooking up decreases the artificiality and pressure of dating. Some maintain, however, that such recreational sex means less romance, less excitement, less passion, and less intimacy because many women are giving out ‘free samples.’ What do you think?”

Also, what are your opinions on online dating sites and online dating in general?

I’m also curious if anyone knows where the phrase “opposites attract” originated?