Summary
HOW OFTEN DO WE DATE?
dating- the process of meeting people socially for possible mate selection
WHY DO WE DATE?
marriage market- participants compare the assets and liabilities of eligible partners and choose the best available mate
Manifest Functions of Dating: maturation, fun and recreation, companionship, love and affection, and mate selection
Latent Functions of Dating socialization, social status, fulfillment of ego needs, sexual experimentation and intimacy, and big businesses
THE DATING SPECTRUM
Traditional Dating: Cultural variations and going steady
Contemporary Dating: hanging out, getting together, and hooking up
Traditional-Contemporary Combinations: proms and homecoming parties/ dinner dates
Dating in Later Life
MEETING OTHERS
Personal Classified Advertisements
Mail-Order Brides
Professional Matchmakers
Speed Dating
Cyberdating
CHOOSING WHOM WE DATE: CHOICES AND CONSTRAINTS
Homogamy and Filter Theory: Narrowing the Marriage Market: homogamy, ethnicity and age, propinquity, physical appearance, ethnicity and race, religion, age, social class, and values and personality
homogamy- dating or marrying someone with similar social characteristics, such as ethnicity and age
propinquity- geographic closeness
Heterogamy: Expanding the Marriage Market: same-sex relationships, social class relationships, interfaith relationships, and interracial and interethnic relationships
heterogamy- dating or marrying someone from a social, racial, ethnic, religious, or age group that is different from one's own
WHY WE CHOOSE EACH OTHER: THEORIES OF MATE SELECTION
Dating as Give and Take: Social Exchange Theory
Dating as a Search for Egalitarian Relationships: Equity Theory
GLOBAL VIEW: MATE SELECTION ACROSS CULTURES
Modern and Traditional Societies: wealth, age, and values
Heterogamy and Homogamy
Arranged and Free Choice Marriages
How Mate Selection Methods are Changing
HARMFUL DATING RELATIONSHIPS: POWER, CONTROL, AND VIOLENCE
Power and Control in Dating Relationships
Prevalence of Dating Violence
acquaintance rape- rape of a person who knows or is familiar with the rapist
date rape- unwanted, forced sexual intercourse in the context of a dating situation
Factors Contributing to Date Violence and Date Rape: family violence, gender roles, peer pressure and secrecy, and use of alcohol and other drugs
Some Consequences of Dating Violence and Date Rape
Some Solutions
BREAKING UP
Why We Break Up
How We React
Is Breaking Up Healthy?
Points of Interest
The picture of the couple at prom on page 212 reminded me of a Criminal Minds episode. Dr. Spencer Reid talks about how people choose mates that look similar to them. He then went on to say that all celebrities have a certain arrangement/ symmetry of their facial features that other people view as attractive.
On page 228, they mention that breaking up is healthy for several reasons. The author goes over how people break up for "ridiculous reasons," but doesn't mention the difficult break-ups. I know a lot of people that have had devastating effects caused by a break-up, such as extreme weight loss and suicidal thoughts. I wonder why the book doesn't touch upon those aspects of a break-up.
Questions
On page 228, the book states that "Men seem to get over breakups more quickly than women do," why do you think that is?
I feel personally that the reason is because men do not base their thoughts on emotions. I think that they look at things in a practical/logical matter. They might be upset at first sure, but their thought process turns to the matters the have to deal with at hand. I feel like this a difficult statement to defend unless you have a statistic because it has nothing to back it up.
ReplyDeleteI think that women have the tendency to get more attached to things than men do. I think this happens in relationships. I feel as if women get so attached and invest so much energy and emotion into a relationship that when it does not work they are just crushed. Not to say that men don't put in time and energy into a relationship, I just believe it is in women's nature to be more attached than men.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the fact that the book did not go into further details on the effects of break-ups. It was pretty general and straight-forward, as if the author wanted the chapter to end abruptly. Going into your question, I believe that the stereotype of women being more attached and more susceptible to the effects of breakups could be true; however, I honestly believe that this assumption is strictly based on gender stereotyping (i.e. men are providers women are nurturing). Personally, I believe that break-ups are difficult for anyone that has strong feelings for that other person, even men. What you might see with the assumption that men are not as emotional and attached than women could simply be due to cultural standards and expectations of gender (i.e. men are not allowed to display emotions because it shows weakness). That's the way I see it regarding how to explain why men take break-ups "better."
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