`Chapter 16

Summary:

Once divorced it is likely that a person may start dating again, creating a completely different type of family that can be hard to describe in conversation with others. Stepfamilies can be created after divorce or widowhood. Just like a couple who is getting married for the first time, these type of families go through the same process of dating and cohabitation. Dating after a divorce is often used to fill the missing void of the other partner. If the people are young it is easy for them to start dating again, but for those who have been married for years and are older, it may be a lot harder for them to start dating because it is something that they have not had to do in a long time. Once a person has found someone that they may consider marrying, they often decide on cohabitation first, because they are not ready ready to jump into another marriage that quickly; this give the new couple a chance to test out their relationship first.

Stepfamily: a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or cohabit.

In the United States, remarriage is very common; the US has the highest remarriage rate in the world and a huge industry has been created to support it. Like marriage, remarriage is a process that a couple must go through. The phases include:

1. emotional remarriage: person has to establish a commitment and trust in a new partner
2. psychic remarriage: the identity of the two people will change again, they must go from a single individual to a married couple
3. community remarriage: the couple may have to change their community of friends, or they may have to move to a different community and meet new people there
4. parental remarriage: developing a relationship between the new partner and their children, and may have to overcome some hurdles with the child's other biological parent
5. economic remarriage: have to reestablish a marital household as a economic unit
6. legal remarriage: there are no specific responsibilities legal stated for remarriages, so there are many aspects of the relationship that the couple will need to think about and work out on their on

Remarriage are different from first marriages in many important ways.

• family composition: step parent, step sibling and half sibling relationships are created
• role expectations: with first marriage the roles and expectations are clear, but with remarriage they are not because of the presence of step parents, step siblings, in laws and half sibling
• changes across the life course; people who remarry my find that they and their children are not at the same stages in their families and this can cause stress in the relationship
• stress and resources: people who remarry often look for people who are better than their ex in many different categories, and this can hard

Different Types of Stepfamilies
Mother-stepfather family:	All of the children are biological children of the mother and stepchildren of the father
Father-stepmother family:	All of the children are biological children of the father and step children of the mother
Joint stepfamily:	At least one child is the biological child of both parents, at least one child is the biological child of only one parent and the step child of the other parent
Gay and Lesbian stepfamilies:	Co-parent family: the no biological partner is a supporter of and helper and consultant to the biological mother Stepmother family: parallels heterosexual stepmother families Co-mother family: both partners have equal rights and responsibilities in everyday decision and child-rearing tasks

Characteristics of Stepfamilies:

• the structure of stepfamilies is complex
  
• the stepfamily must cope with unique tasks
• stepfamilies often experience more stress and conflict than nuclear families
• stepfamily integration typically takes years rather than months
• important relationships may be cut off or end abruptly, and others spring up overnight
• there are continuous transitions and adjustments rather than stability
• stepfamilies are less cohesive than nuclear or single-parent households
• stepfamilies need great flexibility in their everyday behavior
• stepfamily members often have unrealistic expectations
• there is no shared family history
• there may be many loyalty conflicts
• stepfamily roles are often ambiguous

Some of the other complex issues that come along with stepfamilies are myths of the evil stepmother, issues on what members will call other members, legal and financial matters, sexual boundaries are blurred because there are not many biological ties, emotional stress of distributing time, space, and affection, developing a stepparent-stepchild relationship, establishing discipline and closeness, and child adjustment.

New Things:

I found it interesting that there are rarely any legal restrictions on sexual relationships between stepfamily members.

Discussion:
In this chapter, they mention half sibling (brothers or sisters who share only one biological or adoptive parent). Growing up we never used the term half sibling in our family; my mom has 3 "half sisters", and I have two "half sisters". My mom vocal expressed one day that she HATED this term because there was notice half about the relationship we have with our sisters, and i believe the same thing. However, we were very specific when it came to identifying who the step sibling are; I have 3 step siblings (one on my dad's side, and two on my mom's side) and I make it a point to expressed that they are my stepsiblings whenever talking about them.

My question is: Does anyone else have half siblings and do you use that term? What is the determining factor in who you decide whether or not to use the term? And to you make a very clear distinction between step siblings and half siblings?

The other aspect of this is that in my case I live with my mom and my two "half sisters", do you think that the naming of the relationship is determined by whether those siblings are living in the same house as you?