Summary
This chapter explains how separation and divorce works and it summarizes how there are different types of divorce and all the potential effects of this life-changing decision. Separation is the first step in a divorce and can be temporary or permanent depending on the couple’s decisions. The chapter discusses the four steps during a separation including; perspiration, early separation, midseparation, and late separation. Depending on the separation, a marriage can be reconciled or a more permanent separation like divorce can occur. If a divorce is the only option for the couple, in their opinion, the chapter describes how it is a very long process and there are stages that people go through. The six stages include the emotional divorce, the legal divorce, the economic divorce, the co-parental divorce, the community divorce, and the psychic divorce. Since divorce ultimately affects the family, children are usually impacted in a negative way. Parents will attempt to gain custody of the children involved and the three major types explained in the chapter are sole custody, split custody, and joint custody. Overall, divorce and separation is a difficult decision to make, and no matter what the reasoning the outcome may always be difficult.
New, Interesting, or Unusual Items Learned
It was very interesting to learn that women are more likely to file for divorce than men. The chart showing that divorce was also on the decline in more recent years was also something that I learned. I didn’t know that most marriages in the past ended only due to death or desertion.
Question/Concern
For those who have been separated from their spouse for a long period of time, why not legally get a divorce? Does this have anything to do with the stages of separation or what is the reasoning behind staying separated without divorcing?
Brian Bitner
I feel like some people might not file for a divorce due to personal reasons. I know if I had to tell my family that my marriage had ended it would seem too real. Coming from a very religious family, divorce is not highly looked upon, and a divorce would make my family want to shun me or constantly judge me saying that I didn't try hard enough. Although the emotional standpoint is crucial to this I can't help to wonder if there is something about it in terms of taxes and such. It is said that once people marry, they have tax breaks and also are rewarded with other perks. Perhaps financially these people need the title of still married as opposed to divorced. A separation might allow these people to receive the benefits and allow them to coexist in a manner that they find their relationship, or lack there of, in an ideal standpoint.
ReplyDeleteI think the reasons vary greatly depending on the couple. Some people might not feel that they will ever be in the right economic situation to divorce their spouse, and others might not believe in divorce but feel it necessary to distance themselves from their partner. Toni Braxton (a singer) has been separated from her husband for a number of years; they both attribute their refusal to divorce to their wanting to support their kids. I suppose feel that getting a divorce would be more damaging to the children than just staying separated (or perhaps they stay together in the small chance of a future reconciliation?).
ReplyDeleteI think some people are afraid to admit their marriage has failed. Others want to be able to hold onto marriage to control their spouse in certain ways in a "if I can't have you, no one else can" type way. A lot of time couples can't afford a divorce so they remain in the separation stage. They don't want to deal with the financial aspects that come along, and others like Nicole said don't want to finalize the divorce for the sake of the family.
ReplyDelete