Chapter 16: Remarriages and Stepfamilies

Summary

There are many different definitions of a stepfamilies. Our author defines a stepfamily as "a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or to cohabit."

There are a number of types of stepfamilies. There are mother-stepfather families, father-stepmother families, and joint stepfamilies where there is one (or more) biological child and one (or more) stepchild. Furthermore, stepfamilies are different with regard to the parents' sexual orientation. There may be gay or lesbian stepparents. These remmariages face more stigmatization than heterosexual remarriages.

Beyond describing the stepfamily, the chapter discusses the decision to remarry, the process of remarrying, and the consequences of remarrying.

The decision to remarry may be based on many factors. Factors that explain peoples decisions to remarry include age, gender, race, social class, or children. Depending on how an individual fits into these categories, their decision to remarry may be affected. For example, white women tend to remarry more than asian women and women in general tend to remarry more than men.

There is a process of remarriage that is the opposite of the process of divorce discussed in the divorce chapter. There is emotional, psychic, community, parental, economic, and legal steps to remarriage. Going through these processes may more difficult than in first marriages where remarriages face opposition in a community or by a child.

The consequences of remarriages may be positive or negative. Negative consequences include uncertain family composition, unrealistic expectations placed on family members, difficulties in integration, no shared histories among family members, greater liklihood of divorce than first marriages, and women tend to be less happy than in first marriages. Positive consequences include increases in resources, and women tend to be more happy than divorced women.

There are mixed results as to how remarriage affects stepchildren; the result seems to be. The conclusion is that the success of remarriages, especially with regard to the children, depends on the family's characteristics and dynamics. The book cites 7 characteristics that make for a successful stepfamily. Among these are that successful families 'develop realistic expectations', 'let children mourn their loses' over divorce of their parents, and that 'stepparents take on a disciplinary role gradually'.

What I learned

From this chapter I learned that remarriage makes people happier than being divorced. I am skeptical of how happiness is defined, here, however.

This is a sentiment expressed in Kelly's critique of an earlier chapter (posted 10/26), where she says that maybe marital happiness and happiness in general are two different forms of happiness. Whether that is true or not I don't know, but what can be acknowledged by these comments, Kelly's and my own, is that happiness is an elusive concept that perhaps cannot be pinned down theoretically and so cannot be pinned down statistically. As critical thinkers we ought to be at least skeptical of the numbers in the book with variables in 'happiness'.

Questions/Concerns

I found a real problem with the following statement -- its not only unsound reasoning, its invalid reasoning. I found it comical, actually: "The U.S. remarriage rate is the highest in the world, which suggests that many Americans haven't given up on marriage."

'Marriage' in this sentence is used contrary to how I use the word, and how the book uses the word on other pages. As I use the word 'marriage' is life-long commitment, not just commitment as it is used here. My use seems to be the most accurate use of the word, because when someone marries, it is assumed that they are making a life-long commitment. To say that remarriage is proof of lifelong commitment is absurd; it effectively proves the opposite with respect to an old partner while merely forecasting lifelong commitment with a new partner.

Even if you do not accept my understanding of marriage as life-long commitment, you can at least acknowledge contradiction in the book brought up by the following statement: Latinos and Asian Americans have lowest remarriage rates because "...Latinos and Asian Americans, especially recent immigrants encourage marriage and discourage cohabitation and divorce (my italics)." This statement clearly contradicts the earlier one. Here, remarriage is discouraged by the community while marriage is encouraged and the author endorses that these are not only distinct but opposing concepts.