Chapter 16 starts off explaining how some people start to date even before they are legally divorced. The people who do marry after a divorce usually do so within 3 or 4 years after the divorce. Many of these couples start off by living with one another before actually getting married. It is also said that living together can delay a marriage as well. Stepfamily is defined as a household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents with a child from previous relationship elect to marry or to cohabit. It is stated that many Americans haven’t given up on marriage because the U.S. has the highest remarriage rate. The factors that affect people’s decision to remarry include: age and gender, race/ethnicity, social class, and the presence of children. There are many stages of remarriage, which include: emotional remarriage, psychic remarriage, community remarriage, parental remarriage, economic remarriage, and legal remarriage. The book defines the term stepsiblings as brothers or sisters who share a biological or adaptive parent and a stepparent. Half siblings are defined as brothers or sisters who share only one biological or adoptive parent. There are many myths about remarriage, which include: the nuclear family myth, the compensation myth, the instant love myth, and the rescue fantasy. It is stated “about 60 percent of remarriages, compared with 45 percent of first marriages, end in divorce” (pg. 455). The book then defines the term genogram as a diagram showing the biological relationships among family members. It is said that most stepfamilies face a number of issues when they attempt to merge two households after a remarriage. Some of these issues include: naming, sexual boundaries, legal issues, distributing economic and emotional resources, developing the stepparent-stepchild relationships, establishing discipline and closeness, gender differences in children’s adjustment, and intergenerational relationships. It is said that couples often say unlike their first marriage, their stepfamilies offer more benefits. Unlike their first marriage, couples say that they try harder, and tend to be more considerate of other’s feelings in their second marriage.
I found the picture on page 455 and the caption that goes with it to be quite interesting. This picture shows Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith, who have been married for 10 years. This is Will Smith’s second marriage, and he said the secret to his second marriage is that he and his wife had decided that divorce just wasn’t an option. I found this to be really interesting and I respect that a lot. I think having the mindset that divorce is not an option is awesome. I think that really makes a couple work hard at their marriage, and in the long run make couples happier.
I was wondering what the class thought about the statement, “divorce just isn’t an option.” Do people agree with this statement, or do you think sometimes divorce is a good thing?
I found this comment to be interesting too considering that now Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are going through a rough patch now due to the scandal with Marc Anthony. I just wonder if they have to decided to handle the problem with other methods instead of the easy fix it solution of getting a divorce. I really liked this couple because I feel that Hollywood couples ruin the sanctity of marriage and Will and Jada were one of my favorite couples because they did not abuse the privilege.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with that statement... to an extent. I think that a couple gets married because there is some love between them. If they lose that, there are ways to find it by working it out with each other or going to therapy. There are so many other options besides just giving up on a marriage that I think it's hard to see it as an option. I also think it's hard to see divorce as an option when children are involved. My roommate's parents are recently divorce and both of her parents are dating. Her parents are starting their new stepfamilies and she had no where to go for Thanksgiving and it absolutely broke my heart. Parents should have their children's best interest at heart when considering divorce.
ReplyDeleteJust to use the example of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries; they were married for 72 days. Don't tell me they couldn't figure it out, because if they really cared about their relationship they would have.
While I agree with the idea that everyone should try to work out their problems before getting a divorce, I don't think people should completely count out divorce as an option. I think that for many people who do try for many years to fix their relationship, it might be the only thing left. I don't think that people should stay in a relationship their whole lives and be unhappy (or in an abusive situation or something) just because they don't want a divorce, but I do think they should make sure they try every other option first.
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