Chapter 15 starts off defining the term separation as a temporary period of living apart required by most states before a divorce is granted. The term separation has different phases that include: preseparation, early separation, midseparation, and late separation. There are different outcomes of marital separation. Some of the outcomes are: separation and reconciliation, separation without divorce, and separation and divorce. It is stated in this chapter that divorce rates increased rapidly in the 1970s, reached a plateau in the 1980s, and have decreased since the mid- 1990s. There are many stages when it comes to divorce. These stages include: emotional divorce, legal divorce, economic divorce, co parental divorce, community divorce, and psychic divorce. This chapter defines the term alimony as monetary payments by one ex-spouse to the other after a divorce. The term child support is defined as monetary payments by the noncustodial parent to the custodial parent to help pay for child-rearing expenses. There are many macro-level reasons for divorce that includes: divorce laws, religious institutions, the economy, military service, cultural values, social integration, and technology. There are also demographic variables that help explain why some couples are more likely to divorce. Some of these variables include: parental divorce, age at marriage, premarital pregnancy and childbearing, premarital cohabitation, presence of children, gender, race and ethnicity, social class, religion, and similarity between spouses. The micro-level/interpersonal reasons for divorce includes: unrealistic expectations, conflict and abuse, infidelity, and communication. It is stated that divorced people are worse off than married people in many ways. It is also stated that generally, marriage builds wealth while divorce does the opposite. When two people have children and then decide to divorce, their children often are caught in the middle of custody battles. Custody is a court-mandated ruling as to which divorced parent will have the primary responsibility for the welfare and upbringing of the children. There are different types of custody. In sole custody, one parent has sole responsibility for raising the child; the other parent has specific visitation rights. In split custody, the children are divided between the parents either by sex or by choice. In joint custody, the children divide their time between their parents, who share in decisions about their upbringing. In co-custody, parents share physical and legal custody of their children equally. One of the reasons why divorce may be a good option for people is because it gives people in miserable marriages options.
I found the section that talked about Child Custody to be very interesting. I never knew that there were so many types of custodies. I learned about sole custody, split custody, joint custody, and co-custody. I also found it interesting reading about the pros and cons of co-custody. I learned that this term is referred to as divorced parents’ being involved in making decisions about the child’s education, health care, religious training, and social activities.
The question that I have for the class is do you think children whose mother and father divorce should have the right to choose which parent they want to live with? Or should the judge/parents choose who the child lives with?
In my opinion, I think the child or children should meet with a therapist to discuss who they would prefer to live with or without. Then, that same therapist should meet with both parents individually and really get an understanding of what living situation would be ideal for the child or children. The therapist would then be able to advise the judge on their findings and provide a reasonable solution without biases.
ReplyDeleteBrian Bitner
Maria,
ReplyDeleteI think that is a very good question to raise. In my opinion, I think the children should have the right to choose who they wish to live with. If a child is forced to live with someone they do not get along with this could negatively impact their health, possibly both physically and emotionally. However, I also believe it depends on the child's age for them to be given this choice. I believe the child must be judged mature enough to make this decision; because if a child is say 5 years old they might have not developed the mental capacity yet to fully know what they are really choosing to do; this could cause problems both for the child and the parents. But, if the child has reached a mature enough level, they definitely should be allowed to choose which parent they would like to live with; this could eliminate a lot of problems that may occur between children and their divorced parents. They may actually receive more love than they would from a parent who is forcing a child to live with them, which in turn will result in better emotional and physical health. Furthermore, by giving the mature child the decision, they may be able to cope more easily with their parent's divorce.
-Natalie Fisher
I think like most things this is something that depends on the situation. I know personally that if my parents had separated I would want to choose which one to live with, but in the case that a child may be too young to choose, I think it should be determined by the judge. I also think that with this that it would depend on the mental health of the family. If the parents' separation had a negative impact on each parents' mental stability, and the child's/children's, I think that a judge should make the final decision. Although I do believe that it is acceptable for either a judge or the child to choose which parent to live with after the divorce or separation, I do feel like the decision should be revisited every so many years. It could be a simple thing that a child or a judge chooses to place the child with a specific parent based on the current circumstances, but circumstances are bound to change, and I feel that a child could benefit from being with a different parent if the circumstances do change significantly.
ReplyDeleteI think decisions should be made in the best interest of the child. It seems to me that all parties (judge, parents, youth) should have a say in where the child winds up staying. Hopefully, if each voice is considered, the child will live where s/he'll be in the best economic situation, have exposure to the best parenting style, and be with the preferred parent. Obviously, this outcome is not likely in many cases, but it is something to aspire. I think the age of the child is important to consider, too; for example, a 2-year-old might like mom or dad more because s/he gives the kid more cookies, but a 12-year-old might have a firmer grasp on which qualities make a better parent.
ReplyDeleteI think the parent should have the final decision but I think the child can voice their decision. What I've seen happen is the child be forced to live with a parent they don't get along with and the child then becomes scarred by the unhealthy relationship. I think it's important for the child to have a good relationship with the parent they're going to live with permanently.
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