Chapter 16

Summary:

In Chapter 16 we learned about:

- Those who choose to marry for the first time rely on a few courtship methods:
* These methods are considered to be more complicated today then they were in the past.
· Dating
· Cohabitation
· Meeting and choosing another mate

- After a divorce many people rush into another relationship to ease their heartache
- Those who are divorced and would like to remarry are often more cautious about remarrying. So they choose cohabitation to make an assessment on their relationship.
- People who choose to cohabitate after a divorce can increase their child’s stress level because the child is experiences more change like:
· Divorce
· Parents cohabitating
· Parents leaving one cohabitating relationship and could decide to have another cohabitating relationship
- However, in the parents defense they feel if they choose to cohabitate they are saving the child from anxiety because they are avoiding another divorce

- A summed up definition of a stepfamily defined by sociologists is:
Stepfamily- consists of a household in which the husband/wife has a biological child from their previous marriage.

- Remarriage is very common
- 85% of Americans that divorce end up remarrying. Americans are considered to have the highest remarriage rate in the world.
- Remarriage helped produce a booming industry to help cater to the wedding industry. Some examples are:
· Magazines
· Books

The most common factors people take into account when they decide to remarry are:
· Age
· Gender
· Race/ethnicity
· Social Class
· Presence of children

- Remarriage can be more complicated than the first marriage or divorce
- Remarriage may involve taking steps similar to Bohannon’s 6 stations of divorce.
- However, going through the stages of divorce and remarriage are not always going to be in order, not all couples will go through all the steps, nor will they have the same intensity as other couples may experience
- If the couple can handle each stage successfully than it is more than likely they will be able to embrace a new identity as a couple

The 6 types of remarriage are:
· Emotional remarriage
· Psychic remarriage
· Community remarriage
· Parental remarriage
· Economic remarriage
· Legal Remarriage

- When a person remarries it can be an emotional change in a family’s structure, and one can form multiple new relationships.

- In a remarriage one usually looks for better qualities in someone than in they’re past experience with their ex-spouse. Some of those qualities are:
· More Successful
· More Supportive
· More Attractive

- Couples have reported that they share more responsibilities in their second marriage more equally than in there first marriage.
- Remarriage satisfaction is apparently mixed
- Some couples that are in their first marriage report greater satisfaction than couples in their second marriage. However, the differences that are reported are minor
- On the other hand researchers have reported that people who have remarried are more likely to:
· Express criticism
· Anger
· Irritation
* The disagreements usually about the stepchildren due to discipline and sharing of resources
- 60% of remarriages compared to 45% of first marriages end in divorce.
- The extent of a first and second marriage is appropriately 8 years

Reasons why divorce rates are higher for remarriages:
· Those who get married when they are teenagers remarry at a young age, and are more likely to get a divorce after the second marriage (lack of problem solving skills, or immaturity in dealing with marital conflict).
· People see divorce as a quick fix to marital dissatisfaction
· Women who have a child between marriages are more likely to divorce because more time is spent on taking care of the baby and the newly married couple may not be spending time they need to devote to their relationship
· Remarried couples have to deal with more boundaries than couples in first marriages

Types of stepfamilies:
· Mother-stepfather family
· Father-stepmother family
· Joint stepfamilies

· Pages 457-460 list 12 characteristics that stepfamilies deal with

Interests/ Unusual Items Learned:

I found chapter 16 to be very informative. Considering that I came from a divorced family and both of my parents are now remarried I wish my family and I had chapter 16’s information when ever both of my parents were remarrying because I feel the transition would have been easier.

Discussion:

I wanted to discuss about the article titled The Stepfamily Cycle on page 459, and the article titled The Ten Commandments of Stepparenting on page 465. As I stated earlier, I am from a divorced family, and both of my parents are remarried. Having to deal with my parent’s divorce and remarrying has taught me a lot, and raised a lot of questions that I asked myself throughout the years. I also felt that I could relate to some of the text in chapter 16.

I honestly don’t think people are aware of how intense a transition can be when people remarry and kids are involved. In my personal opinion, I think classes or some kind of procedure needs to take place to inform newly engaged remarrying couples on how much a transition they will be experiencing, and how much of a transition the kids will experience during this transition. These two articles that I listed as an example are so helpful and informative, and I am sure it would at least make a transition of a remarrying couple somewhat easier. Imagine if a class or something bigger took place.

What are some of your ideas to improve a transition for remarrying couples?

Natalie Sebula