1.) Chapter 16, “Remarriages and Stepfamilies,” discusses:
· Being Single Again: Dating and Cohabitation
· Dating after Divorce
· Cohabitation: An Alternative to Dating after a Divorce
· Forming a Stepfamily
· What Is a Stepfamily?
· A household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents (heterosexual, gay, or lesbian) with a child from a previous relationship elect to marry or to cohabit
· How Common Are Remarriage and Stepfamilies?
· Characteristics of Remarried Couples
· Age and Gender
· Gender and Race/Ethnicity
· Social Class
· Presence of Children
· Remarriage as a Process
· Emotional Remarriage: establish commitment to and trust in a new partner
· Psychic Remarriage: recovery of a valued identity as a wife or husband
· Community Remarriage: changing a group of friends or moving to a new community all together and having to meet new people
· Parental Remarriage: developing relationships between a partner and the children of the new spouse
· Economic Remarriage: household is reestablished as an economic unit
· Legal Remarriage
· How First Marriages and Remarriages Differ
· Family Composition – varies more in remarriages
· Role Expectations – less defined
· Changes across the Life Course – families may be at different stages of the family life course
· Stress and Resources
· Couple Dynamics in Stepfamilies
· Myths about Remarriage
· The Nuclear Family Myth: the fantasy expectation of the new family to be tight-knit
· The Compensation Myth: the new mate is expected to be everything the old mate wasn’t
· The Instant Love Myth
· The Rescue Fantasy: stepparents think that they will “shape those kids up” and rescue them from a negative or lenient custodial parent
· Marital Roles and Power
· Remarriage Satisfaction
· Remarriage Stability
· The Diversity and Complexity of Stepfamilies
· Types of Stepfamilies
· Mother-Stepfather Family
· Father-Stepmother Family
· Joint Stepfamily: at least one child is the biological child of both parents, at least one child is the biological child of only one parent and the stepchild of the other parents, and no other type of child is present
· Complex Stepfamily: both adults have children from previous marriages
· Joint Step-Adoptive Family
· Joint Biological-Step-Adoptive Family
· Gay and Lesbian Stepfamilies
· Some Characteristics of Stepfamilies
· Living In a Stepfamily
· Stereotypes about Stepfamilies
· Parenting in Stepfamilies
· Some Effects of Stepfamilies on Children
· Successful Remarriages and Stepfamilies
· Some Characteristics of Successful Stepfamilies
· The Rewards of Remarriage and Stepparenting
2.) It was interesting that on page 455, the book talks about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s marriage. It says that Will Smith said the secret to their success was that he and his wife decided that divorce just wasn’t an option: “We’re like listen, we’re going to be together one way or the other, so we might as well try to be happy.” It seems as though they have a great relationship but this comment makes me question it. The book asks if other remarried couples should adopt the Smiths’ philosophy, but I find this to be unrealistic. Sometimes, over the life course, the couple may grow apart and change. Yes, a marriage involves two people but those two people are individuals and sometimes people change. I think the Smiths’ philosophy is an interesting view but an unrealistic one because if a couple changes and is no longer happy together, they shouldn’t force trying to be happy just to avoid a divorce.
3.) I don’t know what it’s like to be a part of a stepfamily so to my classmates who do have a stepfamily, what did you think of the chapter? Do you think it described stepfamilies accurately or do you feel like you were disagreeing with what the book was saying?
I cannot say for myself what a stepfamily may be like but I can say that in the past I've gone to my girlfriend's house and have met her step-father. He wasn't cold to me or seemed like he had a bad personaily and we actually get along. I've asked my girlfriend plenty of times what she thinks about him and she says he has basically been real father to her since age 6 or 7. When I visit I don't see a broken family but a family that is just like any other if not better. I don't agree with the stigmas of society between real/step family although this is only one case.
ReplyDeleteSimilarly I cannot speak for myself either, but my roommate is part of a stepfamily. I find her relationships with each member extremely interesting. Although she is obviously closer with her mom and her blood siblings, she also has a very close relationship with her stepbrothers and stepsisters. Her situation is also interesting because her mom just recently remarried over break. This leaves her with not only stepsiblings from her dad's remarriage but now stepsiblings from her mom's new marriage. Perhaps she is this close to her stepsiblings because she was older when her parents remarried, but regardless, I think her parents guided each of their new relationships in a way which she could feel like letting more people into her life was an okay feeling. With all of this being said, I feel like I am not in a position to judge the book's statements on stepfamilies, but I do feel that they can be both accurate and inaccurate depending on the specific situation. Yet, I feel like it is safe to say that most adults who go into a second or third marriage are cognizant of the fact that their new relationship affects more than just themselves and their partners and will take whatever means necessary to aid the others involved in feeling as secure and welcomed into the new family.
ReplyDelete