It usually takes about 4 years after a divorce for someone to remarry. They may either jump right into dating or they might move into cohabitation to test a relationship before committing to marriage. When this happens, stepfamilies are born. This is because for either gender, they usually quickly jump back into a relationship. White women tend to have the highest remarriage rates, and "the wealthier a man is, the more likely that he will remarry." Usually, women will more quickly remarry if they are young, have few marketable skills, and want to have kids. A Target worker said that he compared his wife to a Barbie doll. There are many steps to becoming remarried: emotionally, psychically, communally, parentally, economically, and legally. There are many myths to stepfamilies: the family will be very close int, the new mate will be everything the old mate wasn't, they will be instantly in love, and that the stepparent can "rescue" the children and "shape them up." The different types of stepfamilies are father-stepmother, mother-stepfather, and joint stepfamily. Gay and lesbian couples have different types of joint families as well: co-parent family, stepmother daily, and the co--mother family. Stepfamilies are fairly common-about 17% of kids are living in a step family. There does not seem to be any reported differences behaviorally from stepchildren and regular children.
2. Interesting
I found the box on page 459 (the stepfamily cycle) to be very interesting. I was very surprised that most families start out fantasizing about jumping into a ready made family. For some reason this surprised me. Also, the fact that the individual finds that the fantasy they ware imagining isn't a reality. I would think that they would be more realistic with their expectations.
3. Questions
Do you think it is fair to the kids if the parent remarries?
Every situation is different, but I think a parent should definitely take their child's wishes into consideration. However, the decision is ultimately up to the parent and even though the child/children may be opposed to a remarriage at first, the book states that they often learn to appreciate the remarriage as adults.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the parent has the right to remarry. However, the parents should really consider the child's feelings toward the remarriage because the childs' family is pretty much being reconstructed at that point and that is a big change emotionally.
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