Chapter 14 reading review

This chapter I found to be highly interesting and I actually learned a lot from it that I had not previously known about this well-known topic of violence and family abuse. The focus of violence in this chapter was among the kinds of abuse that exists in relationships and within the family. The term used by our book is Intimate partner violence, IPV, which refers to violence that occurs between "current or former spouses, couples who live together, and current of former boyfriends or girlfriends." There are multiple kinds of IPV which includes physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Physical abuse is kind of self-explanatory and involves throwing objects, pushing, slapping, kicking, biting, choking, etc. Sexual abuse is also self-explanatory in which one partner is forced into a sex act against his/her will. Emotional abuse is the kind of violence that is commonly overlooked and less straight forward than the others. On the surface many see emotional abuse as threatening a partner in any way and harming a partner's self-worth. Getting deeper into emotional abuse can be any way in which one partner tries to control the other--this can be done by threatening and using verbal abuse as just mentioned. Other ways that a partner tries to express control over the other is through isolation from friends and family. This kind of abuse can also lead to other forms of abuse such as physical and sexual.

The stats for IPV were surprising, especially learning that it's the leading death for women ages 15 to 44 and that pregnant women are deemed especially vulnerable. The book goes on the classify the characteristics that an abuser exhibits which show that men are more likely to "batter" women, although women abusers are not uncommon. The age range is the same for both males and females: 20-24 years had the highest incidence of IPV. Social class has very little play in effecting IPV, however, it is more common among those who are of lower social status and those who are impoverished.

Next, the chapter discusses the reasons why many women tend to put up with the abuse instead of seeking help or leaving the relationship. There are many reasons behind this behavior and among them are negative self-concept and low self esteem, belief that the abuser will change, economic hardship and homelessness, need for child support, shame or guilt, blaming themselves, and fear. Starting with negative self-concept and low self-esteem, it is common in an abusive relationship for the batterer to have control over their spouse or partner through emotional abuse. They degrade their partner and make them feel as if they would be worthless without them in their lives, so the victim is likely to stay in the relationship despite the hardship they may experience. Victims that believe the abuser will change are "seduced by the Cinderella fantasy. The woman believes that, sooner or later, the abuser will change and she and Prince Charming will live happily ever after" as the book informs. This could be brought on because of happier times in the relationship and that this is only a phase or that often times the victim feels as if she (or he) can "fix" their partner's behavior. Economic hardship and homelessness is a big factor relating to why victims stay in an abusive relationship as the book describes, "nothing is in the woman's name--not checking or savings accounts, automobiles, or homes" which basically would leave the woman with nothing if she were to leave the relationship behind. Many stay because they need help supporting their child and if they report the abuse their partner may end up in jail, losing their job, which leave them with nothing in the end. Many victims blame themselves, especially if they have a strong religious belief many "may feel guilty and sinful for wanting to leave." Among all, fear is the main reason victims stay in an abusive relationship when threats, such as death in many cases, are involved if the woman leaves.

Another form of violence that is addressed in chapter 14 is child maltreatment and sibling maltreatment. As with IPV, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse are all factors, with the addition of child neglect seen in child maltreatment. Those who are abused are more than likely to be younger children than adolescent children and around 90 percent of perpetrators are family members. In the cases of sexual abuse, young girls are more likely to be abused than young boys. In reference to sibling abuse, the most common forms are name calling and ridicule, degradation, intimidation, torturing or killing a pet, and destroying personal possessions.

A third type of abuse is that done to the elderly. Elder abuse includes physical abuse, negligence, financial exploitation, psychological abuse, deprivation of basic necessities needed for survival, isolation from friends/family, and not providing proper medications needed. In most cases of elder abuse it is adult children who are the abusers and a smaller percent actually are the victim's spouse. Nonetheless primarily, it is more likely that abuse will come from family members than outside caregivers.

The book moves on to explain multiple theories for explanation of abuse and violence within a family or relationship. These theories include:

Patriarchy or Male Dominance theory: a man's authority in a relationship creates domestic violence. Traditionally, men are supposed to be more controlling and dominant in a relationship and are more likely to express their emotion through violent means.

Social Learning Theory: learning through observation of others' behaviors in which children who are exposed to violent behavior continuously are more likely to adopt the same behaviors as they grow up to be adults.

Resource Theory: according to this theory, just as in traditional views of gender roles, men are the ones who are the "breadwinners" and rake in majority of the financial well-being for their family. As a result men in a relationship need to be the more educated and have more social resources than women. When women demonstrate these resources and their partner does not, "a man who has little education, holds a job low in prestige and income, and has poor communication skills may use violence to maintain his dominant position in a relationship or in the family."

Exchange Theory: Violence comes from both partners and neither of them resort for a solution of ending the relationship because they both believe that the benefits outweigh the costs in the relationship.

Ecological systems theory: relates violence to different factors of the over all community as a whole.

The chapter wraps up discussing other kinds of health issues that a family may experience, in summary, these are drug abuse, depression, suicide, and eating disorders.



One of the most shocking things that I learned was that, within the Acute battering incident which is phase two of the battering cycle, it is common for women who choose to endure an abusive relationship and put up with the abuse often provoke the situation and endure the consequences just to move on with the circumstance and move on to the "honeymoon phase" of the cycle where all is calm and the abuser becomes apologetic and loving. The book described one particular situation in which a woman who planned for a family party over the weekend could predict when her husband was going to have an outburst and actually provoked it to happen just to get it over with so that by the weekend they could attend the family party and her husband would be over his moment of hostility and the abusive situation wouldn't be brought out in front of family. This is INSANE!! I can't imagine ever going through anything like this let alone putting up with something as detrimental as abuse for it to get to this point. Of course there are multiple studied reasons for why women put up with it, and they are even addressed within the chapter as mentioned above, but really... how can anyone live like that?


My question for you all is something that I've considered myself. What would you do if you knew of someone going through an abusive relationship? Would you provide help despite the consequences that may be presented against the victim and possibly yourself? or would you stay out of it because after all, it's none of your business. This goes for any kind of abusive relationship whether the person is married or is experiencing abuse from a boyfriend or girlfriend. How would you help them if you chose to do so? If you decide not to, why not?