The rate at which people get a divorce, the legal and formal dissolution of a marriage, and the way we view divorce has changed a lot in the past couple decades. A divorce is not something that happens once and then it is over; there a process that a couple will go through, and continue going through even after the divorce.
SEPARATION:
- a temporary time-out from a highly stressful marriage during which the partners deliberate about continuing the marriage
- a permanent arrangement if the couple's religious beliefs don't allow divorce
Separation has four stages that couples tend to go through:
- Preseparation: during this phase the partners may fantasize about what it would be like to live alone, escape for family responsibilities, or form new sexual liaisons
- Early Separation: during this phase the couple feel ambivalent about leaving the marriage, and they are constantly questions
- Midseparation: during this phase the harsh realities of everyday life set in; maintaining two households, meeting children's emotional and physical needs
- Late Separation: during this phase the partners have to learn how to survive as singles again
Once separated there are a few outcomes for the partners' marriage. The two could reconcile and give their marriage another chance. They could be separated and do fill out the paperwork, but never completely go through with the divorce. Lastly, the separation could end in a divorce.
DIVORCE:
Like separation, divorces do not happen in one step. Bohannon suggests that there are six "stations" of a divorce.
- Emotional Divorce: one or both partners feel disillusioned, unhappy, or rejected.
- Legal Divorce: the formal dissolution of the marriage; the couple decides on issues like child custody and the division the property and other economic assets.
- Economic Divorce: the couple may argue about who should pay past debts, property taxes, and new expenses.
- Coparental Divorce: involves the agreement about legal responsibility for financial support of the children, their day-to-day care, and the rights of the custodial and noncustodial parents in spending time with them.
- Community Divorce: they inform friends, family, teachers, and others that they are no longer married
- Psychic Divorce: the partners separate from each other emotionally and establish separate lives
Divorce rate are different in different countries, because there are three different types of variable that contribute to divorces.
| Macro-Level Reasons | Demographic Reasons | Interpersonal Reasons |
| Divorce Laws | Parental Divorce | Unrealistic Expectations |
| Religious Institutions | Age At Marriage | Conflict And Abuse |
| The Economy | Premarital Pregnancy and Childbearing | Infidelity |
| Military Service | Premarital Cohabitation | Communication |
| Cultural Values | Presence Of Children | |
| Social Integration | Gender | |
| Technology | Race and Ethnicity | |
| | Social Class | |
| | Religion | |
| | Similarity Between Spouses | |
Divorces have an affect on all that are included, from the couple to the kids. There will be physical, emotional, and psychological effect that the partners will experience due to the stress.A divorce will affect a child when the matters of child support, visitation, and custody (court-mandated ruling as to which divorce parent will have the primary responsibility for the welfare and upbringing of the child). There are two types of custody:
- Split custody: the child are divided between their parents either by sex (mothers will get the daughters and the father will get the sons), or by choice (the children will get to choose)
- Joint custody: the children divide their time between their parents who share decisions about the upbringing of their child
- Co-custody: parents share physical and legal custody of their children equally
Some more issues that have an effect on a child during the divorce process are:
- Having to console the parent
- Feeling the need to protect the parent
- Adultification
- Low academic achievement
- Behavorial problems
- Lower self-concept
- Long-term health problems
- Parental problem before a divorce
- Timing of the divorce
- Ongoing parental conflict and hostility
- The quality of the parenting
- Economic hardship
Even though divorce has a negative connotation, there are some benefits for bout the children and the adults. Not all of divorces are messy, and can go smoothly
New Things:
I did not know that there were some divorces where they split the children up depending on their sex.
Discussion:
What do you think the reason is that black women are more likely than white women to reconcile after a separation?
I think there are a lot of issues that contribute to your question above. Earlier in the class, we've talked about suitable mates in which it seems as though black women have a harder time finding suitable males especially black males. So I think black females are more likely to stay with a male if they think that their partner is a decent man but their relationship just has issues that can be reconciled. One might say that a black woman could turn to other races which she can, but within the black community I think there's a certain pressure to preserve the black community, and as we've learned there's also a stigma placed upon interracial couples. Those are just some of the aspects that I think play into why black women are more likely to reconcile after separation.
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