Chapter 3 The Family in Historical Perspective

After reading Chapter 3 there were a few points that interested me the most that I want to point out and discuss:

Sexual Relations within Puritan Families

1. Bundling- a New England custom in which a fully dressed young man and woman spend he night in a bed together, separated by a wooden board. The custom was adopted because it was difficult for a young suitor who had traveled to return home the same night. This custom wasn't very successful in preventing premartial and extramarital sex.
   

• I thought this concept was very interesting, but very naive at the same time. I don't understand how people could think a wooden board would stop two individuals from doing what they wanted to do. The text states that 20 to 33 percent of colonial women were pregnant at the time of marriage. Given the time period and the environment you wouldn't expect such a statistic to exist.
  
• Out-of-wedlock births were common as well. Unfortunately, because women were sexually assaulted. I found this to be devastating. Many people say that growing up in today's society is extremely hard and complicated. Many parents say that things are more hectic now than they were back then, which is true. However, we often overlook how much crime and illegitimate behavior took place without punishment.

Husbands and Wives in Puritan Communities

1. Women were subordinate and obedient to men. Women were supposed to accept male authority as "law". A woman's social status and power depended on her husband, her father, or her patriarchal position as head of the household.
   

• I think it's sad and demeaning towards women that they didn't have any place in society without the help of a man. I'm unsure if I would be willing to subdue to a partner the way women during this time were forced to. This fact also makes me think that women were brought up this way and raised to be submissive to their husbands. I think many marriages for women during this time were most likely unsatisfactory and unhappy.
  

Children's Lives in Puritan Communities

1. The text states that children during colonial times were consumed by concepts of repression, religion and respect. Puritans believed that children were born with sin and were "inherently stubborn, willful, selfish, and corrupt". (Benokraitis, 58) Children were "kept in their place". However, to the contrary, they were expected to be "extraordinarily well behaved, obedient, and docile". (58)
   

• I found this to be interesting and contradicting at the same time. How could one state that children were in a sense "evil" to some extent from birth but expect them to behave in a manner that completely contrasts their characteristics or personality?
  
• Girls were expected to be homemakers and received no education. Again, I think of society wanting to raise well-minded, responsible, educated young adults so that society can send those young adults out into the world to maintain its stability and prosperity. I'm aware that things are different today then they were back then. Maybe that concept of educating young individuals, "children our are future" wasn't present in any sense during that time, and if so it appears that the concept was restricted to males. However, I highly doubt that men alone can run and maintain our society without the help of educated women.
  

American Indian Marriage and Divorce

1. Many American Indian women married between the ages of 12 and 15, and men between the ages of 15 to 20. Some marriages were arranged, but family customs and structured varied. One tribe, the Mohave tribe, had an interesting tradition concerning marriage. Mohave marriages are casual, and to prevent incest men were not allowed to marry a blood relative from either the mother nor father's side of the family. Divorce was simple, and both the man or woman could initiate separation or divorce and remarry easily.
2. Another tribe that interested me was the Zuni of the Southwest. They also had casual marriages and the groom moved into the house of the bride's family. The aspect that most interested me was the fact that a woman could divorce her husband if she was fed up with his demanding demeanor or actions by simply putting his belongings outside their marriage which nullified the marriage. The man without a fight returned to his mother's house, and if the man was unhappy, he would leave to go hunting and never return.
3. Lastly, the Teton tradition of marriage stood out because of it's casual but somewhat structured customs. Marriages usually lasted a lifetime, but divorces were easy and common. A man could divorce wife if he believed she was lazy or she nagged him too much. He could also humiliate his wife publicly at a dance or ceremony. A husband could cut off his wife's nose if she was unfaithful and demand payment from her lover. But, if he was more lenient and forgiving he would force he couple to leave and provide them with a horse or some other sort of property.
   

• I admired the fact that the Mohave tribe disallowed marrying within family. I don't find that custom healthy mentally or physically. The fact that divorce was simple goes against my beliefs that a couple should do their best to stay together, however because the marriages were casual this makes sense.
  

• Concerning the traditions of the Zuni, I think that if divorce was that easy the rate of divorces in America would be much higher than they are now. This custom to someone like me is almost laughable, but to the tribe of Zuni is customary.

• The traditions of the Teton seem too casual for my own taste. Divorcing someone for laziness or excessive nagging seems trivial. These things in accordance with other things or if a partner had been showing those characteristics is something different. Maybe that's how the people of Teton treated the situation.
  

African American Marriage and Family Structure

1. Historian Herbert Gutman disproved many of the common myths that slavery had emasculated black fathers, forced black mothers to play the role of matriarch, and destroyed the African American family as a whole. 70 to 90 percent of African American households were made up of husband and wife or single parent families. (62) Many women were widows, not single mothers who had never been married.

• I was pleasantly surprised to find out that slavery had not had as deep of an affect on black families in America than I thought it had. Growing up in a traditional African American family with both parents and two siblings I realized that my family is an example of this fact.
  

Black Wives and Mothers and their Children

1. Black women received and still receive little recognition for raising the families of their owners and their own families. If a women was believed to have done something wrong or unfavorable in the eyes of her owner she was beaten; this included pregnant and nursing women as well.
2. Children were sent to work at a young age and were often given to the offspring of slave owners as gifts.
   

• This section in the text disgusted me as it would anyone else. I admire the strength that black mother displayed despite the harsh and undeserved punishments they faced. The ability to raise their families and the families of others is a strength that in my opinion, most people could only imagine.

European Immigration and Familial Structure

1. Women and work in the 19th Century- In the late 1800's, Irish girls as young as 11 were leaving home to become servants. 75% of Irish teenage girls were domestic servants. (Benokraitis, 67) They often faced sexual abuse from their male employers and were underpaid.
   
2. Manufacturing Jobs- Jobs were segregated by sex. In most factories, men worked upstairs in better conditions while women worked in the basement under poor conditions hauling heavy supplies and doing "dirty work".
   
3. Gender Roles- Men were heavily affected by unemployment. Once a man lost his job, he suffered a decline of status within his family. Some men became depressed, preoccupied, abusive and alcoholics. Others spent their time searching for jobs.
   

• Once again we see the struggle of being a young female during earlier time periods. This part of the text highlighted what I had learned in another sociology class that many immigrants were heavily discriminated against.
• When thinking about which gender would do which work you would think that males would handle the harsher responsibilities. However, women were given the heavier workload in this situation. This makes me ask the question: Was this another way for society to oppress women? In the sense that, although you're giving the woman more important responsibility you're giving her work that would most likely be harmful to her well-being.
  
• When reading about discrimination and how it affects a gender I'm usually reading about the female population. So reading about men was informative for me. I never thought about how deeply males could be affected within the familial structure because most of the time they hold the most power.
  

Those were the points that stuck out to me the most. So now I'd like to ask a few questions:

1. Did any of these familial traditions stick out to you as interesting, surprising, shocking, etc.?
   
2. Do you think you could have lived during the times being male or female with the roles that women and men played within the family and society?
3. Do you think that being married and having a family during those times was a necessity? Or was there room for more of the population to remain single.