Chapter six starts out explaining how love-- as both an emotion and a behavior--- is essential for human survival. Love is an elusive concept. Some of the characteristics of love that this chapter points out are the following: Love is multifaceted, love is based on respect, and love is often demanding. We learn that the foundation of love is composed of caring, intimacy, and commitment. We learn that biological explanations tend to focus on why we love. While on the other hand, psychological, sociological, and anthropological approaches try to explain how as well as why. Biological perspectives maintain that love is grounded in evolution, biology, and chemistry. Sociological perspectives and some psychological theories claim that culture plays the role of Cupid. We also learn about the attachment theory. The attachment theory can simply be defined as the process that our primary motivation in life is to be connected with other people because this is the only true security we will ever have. The chapter then moves along to the topic of Sociologist Ira Reiss’s ‘Wheel Theory of Love’. Reiss proposed a ‘wheel theory’ of love that generated much research for several decades. He described four stages of love: rapport, self-revelations, mutual dependency, and personality need fulfillment. Next, rather than focusing on stages of love, psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed that love has three important components: intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment. Then sociologist John Lee developed a theory composed of six basic styles of loving: eros, mania, ludus, storge, agape, and pragma. The chapter then goes into convey that love serves many functions, and people fall in love for a variety of reasons. The desire to have children or the availability of a partner may factor into falling in love. Despite popular beliefs, men are usually more romantic than women are. We learn that there are many obstacles of love from micro-level obstacles to macro-level obstacles. The end of this chapter expresses that there is a great deal of variation among cultures in how people express love. Regardless, love is essential to human growth and development.
I found the section entitled “Love Enhances Our Physical and Emotional Health” to be quite interesting. It talks about how babies and children who are deprived of love may develop a wide variety of problems such as depression, headaches, physiological impairments, and psychosomatic difficulties that sometimes last a lifetime. Love is critical for our emotional and physical well-being. I found this to be interesting because I agree with what this section was saying. I remember when my cousin was going through a really nasty divorce. She had a 4 year old daughter who, when the divorce was in the middle of being finalized, was not the same bubbly little girl I knew. I think her parents were so consumed in the divorce that they forgot about their own child. The effects of this were greatly seen in the child’s behavior. I just found this part of the text to be quite interesting because I could relate a story to this concept.
In the text it is said that many people believe in ‘true love’ and that “there’s one person out there that you’re meant for.” However, such beliefs are unfounded. It is said that cultural norms, not fate, bring people together. I was just wondering what people thought about this? Do you believe in fate? Why or why not?
Maria Nicholas
I believe in fate but to a certain extent. I think that fate will have its way when a person is supposed to be with another, and if that isn't when a person plans it then that's just the case. I've always felt that two people can ruin fate, but only temporarily because ultimately they'll end up together if it was fate. Now in a sense going along with what historians say and incorporating fate I think that two people that are meant to be together because of fate will have similar cultural norms. Now my opinion may seem fantasy-like, but I think the whole idea of fate is a fantasy of some sort in itself. In other words, you can't see fate, but people say they can feel fate and know when something is fate; that's where the fantasy aspect comes in.
ReplyDeleteI think believing in fate is something that is somewhat of a culturally constructed thing. For example a show titled "How I Met Your Mother" is all about one character and his quest for the mother of his children which he believes to be determined by fate. Many shows do this and I believe it rubs off on us. I will say though that the belief in fate can be positive and negative. I believe that as long as we don't let everything to be up to fate then it can be mostly positive to believe in. If we are meant to be with only one other person is another argument within itself which I am not sure what my stance is.
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