Love & Friendship
- The first two lines or statements of this section caught my attention because I hold them to be very true. "Do you like the people that you love? Sure. Do you love the people you don't like? No-at least not in a healthy relationship.
- I think these statements are extremely true because I can think of examples of both that are relevant to my life. The eight important qualities of a friendship are crucial in a relationship whether it be with a significant other, friend, or family member. Now these relationships and qualities will take different forms because the dynamics are different but they connect in each of those types of relationships on a basic level.
- I like the fact that the book states that love is an elusive concept. I believe love is what we make it so therefore love has different definitions similar or maybe completely different between ourselves and the next person and even within our own relationships. I agree with the book that love is multifaceted, based on respect, and demanding. Love and relationships and love within relationships is time consuming and takes a lot of effort and mental and physical effort specifically.
- I thought it was interesting that the book stated that if respect is missing from a relationship then the relationship isn't based on love. It's not surprising, however what is interesting is that people have different views on what's respectful and what's disrespectful, and I think that's where a lot of relationships struggle.
- The "If You Loved Me" line I think is a line known to many young females. I thought it was interesting that the book touched on this subject. The aspect about this topic that has lead me to believe that when males say this to young females most of them actually believe this to be true to a great extent. It's not just a ploy to get the female to give in, but most males believe that sex is necessary for a relationship. I agree with the book that it allows the male to have a huge proportion of power in the relationship. And the control doesn't stop at sex but permeates throughout the relationship.
- I agree with the book that romantic love is self-centered and long-term love is altruistic. Most of us aren't willing to put ourselves on the back burner for our partner. And if we are, most of the time there's at least one person in the relationship that doesn't like to put their significant others first ever and so they do so very rarely. I think what you can find in most relationships that fail is the fact that once the romantic love begins to fade there's a lack of long-term, altruistic love that goes along with romantic love. When long-term love is stunted the growth of the relationship is as well, which terminates the relationship in the long run.
- What do you all think about relationships and respect? Do you think that there's a difference in how men and women define respect within a relationship and do you think that difference can have negative effects on a relationship?
- Do you think that if an individual isn't willing to put their significant other before themselves that they don't love the person? And within familial relationships do you think it's important for members of the family besides the parents (i.e. children, aunts, uncles, etc.) to put other family members before them. For example, as an older sister is it important to put my younger brother before me and for him to do the same?
- Lastly, what do you think about the "if you loved me concept". I would like the opinion of a male especially on this question because I know men have very different opinions about this topic than females.