Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Blog

Summary:

The chapter begins with discussing self-love and its role in the success of other types of love. Then it defined friendship and talked about the effects of the internet on true and close friendships. Then the question “what is love?” was presented. The idea of multiple dimensions was presented, along with how love requires respect and is demanding. Following this the authors described the differences between love and lust. The next section covered the ideas of caring, intimacy, and commitment. The book focused primarily on commitment and its different reasons for it. The book then looked at love from the perspective of biochemistry. Here the topic of endorphins and natural amphetamines was presented. The two problems with these theories are the studies come from small samples, and the same chemicals are found in correlation to gambling and cocaine use. The author then talked about the attachment theory, Reiss’s Wheel theory, Sternberg’s Triangle, Lee’s styles of loving, and the exchange theory. The next part of the chapter discussed the functions of love and its uses to guarantee survival, improve personal health, and the quality of life. After that, the chapter went on to investigate the differences between how men and women show love, as well as, same sex love. Then the following sections covered some negative side-effects of love, including all types of jealousy, stalking, controlling behaviors, the use of guilt, emotional and physical abuse. The chapter concluded with discussing the different positive ways love can evolve.

Opinion:

I definitely enjoyed reading the section on the different theories. I felt the attachment theory was a great base to start from, but still too vague. Sternberg’s Triangle makes sense and I felt could be applied easily to different situations. I think out of all of them though I feel Lee’s style is the most accurate and allows for a stricter definition of differences between couples. The theory breaks down a personality into multiple dimensions, not just three. I also found the section covering what happens when love goes wrong. When I think of stalking I tend to think of a mental disorder, not how much they “love” that person. I also found it interesting that supposedly men fall in love more than women do.

Questions:

I noticed in figure 6.3 that 2% of married people responded they were not in love with someone, yet still married. I wonder why the chapter did not cover why people stay together in loveless marriages.