Chapter 1: The Changing Family

Summary:

The book first begins with a discussion of what constitutes a family. Specifically, an important point focused on here is how the definition of a family can either expand (such as claim benefits for family members) or limit (such as denying those same benefits) their options. This is due to the drastic difference in the form and size of families in current times. Traditionally, a family is a group of two or more people who live together as a unit. They raise (and bear) children together, and are related by blood, marriage, or adoption. The book describes how many sociologists, among other people, are challenging this claim, as the form of the family has changed over time and should really include families such as gay and lesbian couples, or cohabiting couples, to name just a few exceptions.

The book further defines families as having three key details. These include:

· Living together in a committed relationship.

· Caring for each other and all of their children.

· Sharing in close emotional ties and activities.

A further complication the book mentions is someone known as a fictive kin, or rather someone who is very close to the family and accepted by them but is a nonrelative.

Next, the book describes the similarities of families across societies. The main similarities of families include fulfilling a function, encouraging marriage, and also ensuring that individuals select the “correct” mate or partner. To begin with, families have many different functions to which they help fulfill some goal. The first of these functions is the regulation of sexual activity. One example of this is the incest taboo, which consists of both norms and laws forbidding sexual intercourse with closely related individuals, preventing genetic diseases and malformations in the resulting children. Another function of the family is procreation and socialization. Because most families intend on having children, it replenishes a country’s population. Additionally, socialization allows the children of the family to absorb such things as language and values. A third function of the family is economic security. A family is an economic unit, which creates economic security and stability. A fourth function of the family would be emotional support. Charles Horton Cooley proposes the idea of primary groups, which are long lasting, intimate, groups (such as the family). They supply love and nurturance to members of the group. A fifth function of the family is social class placement. When a child is in a family, the child essentially inherits a social class (standing in society) from the social class of the family.

Another similarity among families is marriage. The book defines marriage as, “A socially approved mating relationship that people expect to be stable and enduring.” Though the specifics of marriage may differ from county to country, and even between religions, it is still an important rite of passage to members involved. The book describes common law marriage (which is a marriage that consists of a nonceremonial relationship) as including three important requirements”

· The two individuals must have been living together for a while (exact time varies depending on the state).

· The two individuals must be presenting themselves to society as a married couple, not separate individuals.

· The two individuals must intend on marrying eventually.

The last similarity among families is endogamy and exogamy. All societies have variations on these rules, but all these rules mention specifics on endogamy and exogamy. Endogamy constitutes rules on which individuals have to marry. These could be specific religions, races, or even social classes. Exogamy constitutes rules on which individuals cannot marry. These include relatives, etc.

Though families have many similar traits among themselves in society, they also have many inherent differences among themselves. Some of these differences include nuclear and extended families, residence and authority, and monogamy and polygamy. Many families in western societies tend to have a nuclear family, which consists of married individuals and their children. Much of the rest of the world have extended families, which also include kin of the family. A second major difference among families is residence and authority. Some residential patterns include patrilocal residence patterns, which occurs when the couple live with the husband’s family, matrilocal residence patterns, which occurs when the couple live with the wife’s family, and neolocal residence patterns, which occurs when the couple choose a residence location of their own choosing. Lastly the book discusses monogamy and polygamy. Monogamy occurs when one person is exclusively married to another person. Polygamy occurs when either a man or a woman has multiple partners (it is not simply limited to a man having multiple partners).

Additionally, there are many myths about families that the average person may not be aware of. Some of these myths can be dysfunctional, such as the myth of a perfect family, which makes families that do not feel that they meet that standard feel terrible. Some myths can be functional, however, as some myths can promote having a good marriage and a happy life. Some myths are about the past, such as idealized myths about the “good old days.” Some myths define the lines about what is and is not natural. Some myths describe a self-sufficient family. Some myths describe the family as a loving refuge, where one can feel they are safe in an unsafe, unfeeling world. Lastly, there are myths about the perfect marriage and family, which can be helpful and not helpful at the same time in some cases.

The book also describes three main perspectives on the changing family. These include:

· The family is deteriorating, which can be tied to things such as high divorce rates and financial strains/burdens placed on the family.

· The family is changing, not deteriorating, which can be tied to things such as the fact that many problems posed by people believing that the family is deteriorating have existed for many years, and simply were overlooked in the past.

· The family is stronger than ever, which can be tied to things such as the increase in the loving shown in family life now as compared to the past.

The book also describes some interesting trends that can be seen in changing families. These changes include things such as family/nonfamily households, singles and cohabiting couples, marriage/divorce/remarriage, one parent families, employed mothers, and older people (since people, in general, tend to live longer lives now than they have in the past). The book concludes by discussing how families are changing and transforming, rather than hurting and destroying themselves, and many of these changes are far more complicated than simply changes in structure, and choices present to families play a key role in how they change and are shaped.

New/Interesting/Unusual Items Learned:

I felt that it was interesting how there could be three very strong views on the changing family. These views were not simply different either; they were rather on opposite poles of thinking. The range from people who seem to focus on the “good old days” and the traditional family to people who feel that the family is more welcoming and loving than ever before. Individuals who feel that the family is deteriorating seem to feel that the traditional family was ideal, and they seem to look badly upon new data statistics on families in current times. On the other hand, people who feel that the family is stronger now that ever before seem to focus on how families are more welcoming of deviations from the norm and more loving.

Discussion:

Focusing on what I thought was unusual (above), I wonder if some of these beliefs are more valid than others, or if they are simply just different perspectives, each looking at the family through a different lens. Some of the points posed by the “family is deteriorating” perspective struck me as interesting, as some of the data they are looking at may not be entirely accurate. Now I am not trying to say that divorce rates have not gone up in tendency, but it would be interesting to look into how many families were not publicized as divorced, or even how many relationships were “empty” as it was not as socially acceptable in the past to get a divorce as it is now.

Karl Wahlen