Summary
Before the book begins analyzing the family, the author goes over defining the family using traditional vs. current definitions. The next section points out similarities of family functions and marriage across different societies and also defines endogamy and exogamy. Immediately following that section, the author explains the differences between nuclear and extended families, residence and authority, and monogamy and polygamy across different societies. Going along with the theme of change, social change and family structure is addressed. After that, the author breaks down myths about the family. Three perspectives on the family are then addressed: deterioration, change, and strength. To wrap up the chapter, the author touches upon trends, reasons why the family is changing, and global perspectives.
Items Learned
As twisted as it was, I enjoyed the section on polygamy. I was fascinated by the practice because it just seemed so odd to me. I have heard about mormons that practice polygamy, but I never knew the specifics. I remember an episode of the Tyra Show when they interviewed some wives that were involved in polygamy. I could not wrap my head around how you could just share someone like they did. I would go beyond jealousy, maybe hatred toward the other wife because it would constantly be a competition. However, the wives did not view it that way at all.
When reading over the portion about myths, I found that I almost had the opposite views. I always considered early marriages to be forced and unhappy because marriage wasn't based on love back then. Reading the "Diary of a Pioneer Daughter" made me so frightened! I cannot imagine living alone in such conditions, without a husband to protect me.
Concern
The passage on page 15 about "marital expectations and reality" made me feel particularly uneasy. I have extremely high expectations for marriage, but I do not want to set myself up for disappointment. I wish the lady would have elaborated a bit more about what she did expect specifically so that I can compare my expectations to hers. I know there will be some struggles through marriage, but if you pick the right partner I cannot see anything being that bad.
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI agree. I think that section may have been a little overly dramatic. I think that since we are in college, will probably get married at a later age, and will know are partners well enough by the time we get married I'm pretty sure all of our unrealistic expectations will be gone.
I think if you pick the right partner, and expect the best, you'll work as hard as you can to meet those expectations.
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteThe section on polygamy also caught my attention. I too don’t understand how people can have more than one spouse and feel good about one self. In my eyes, one husband is enough to make me happy. Why is there a need to have more? I can understand that one might still be married and is dating someone else because divorces are very expensive, but if ones intentions are to never end the one marriage and have numerous spouses, I think that is a little bizarre. Like you said, how do you really share your love with more than one spouse? Do you divide up the time you spend with one equally or is there one that you always will love more?
In response to your concern about the passage, I agree with Ali that it is a little over dramatic, but I think its just trying to get the point across that if someone is going to strive for a perfect marriage and expect to have everything they dream of, they will be disappointed in the end because there is no such thing as “perfect” and to get everything you wish for is a slim chance. I think you shouldn’t worry too much with the mindset to find the right partner and stay positive that it will be a lifetime of happiness after you find that someone!
-Natalie Fisher
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI understand what you are saying, but even with picking the right person things could still go bad. Unfortunately, people change. He (or she) may be perfect when you're getting to know them and for a few years in the marriage, but anything can happen after that. There could be a lost of interest, cheating, or even addictions. When you're meeting someone and getting to know them they are not going to say "Hey, my name is ____. I'm a good guy but in 6 years I may cheat on you". Finding a mate, and then getting married is a BIG gmable; one will neer know what it definitely going to happen, and can only hope that everything works out.
-Jade Richardson
I have to agree with the part in the 'learned items' section in which some of the myths (I thought) were not actually true. I have read that marriages before the romanticism movement were not necessarily unhappy but not about "love" per-say and more about monetary advances, help from the gov't, etc. I also agree that Polygamy is a twisted thing when you think about our ideals on the east coast/rest of the country that does no practice it. I also believe that wives probably would get jealous and hate each other but when that isn't the case, I start to realize how much our culture, religion, and other outside forces contribute to our views.
ReplyDelete