Chapter 1: The Changing Family

1. Summary

Chapter 1 examines how to define what a family is, details different characteristics of a family and discusses the similarities and difference of families across societies. With the complexities involved in families today, the opinion that a family should be defined as a husband, wife, and children is no long suitable. With the increasing number of single parent families, foster homes, same sex unions, and extended families it is now more realistic to characterize a family as a group of people who live together in a committed relationship with the desire and purpose of sharing activities and taking care of each other.

The chapter then discusses five common functions that families around the world fulfill to enrich society. Regulating sexual activity is a common function families carry out to preserve the family as well as society through laws and taboos set to control who may have sexual relations with who. The function of procreation assures that the family continues to exist and socialization enables parents to educate their children and pass their beliefs and social values from generation to generation. Another function is to provide economic security by providing adequate food, shelter and clothing to ensure that the family survives and is not a burden to society. The same is true with the job to provide emotional support; it is vital to society that families love and nurture its members so they fill society with happy and secure individuals. The final function discussed is to place family members in a particular social class in society so that all needs of the society are meant. This section also presents marriage and the two different ways it can be legally defined; this consists of ceremonial marriage and common-law marriage or nonceremonial marriage. A ceremonial marriage involves a couple filing proper legal documentation and abiding by the legal stipulations of the matrimonial laws of the state in which they live. Common-law marriage entails three requirements for a couple to gain recognition of their marriage. The couple must live as a couple for a specified number of years, identify each other as husband and wife, and want to marry each other. At the end of this section, the book distinguishes the difference between endogamy and exogamy; these both are rules one must follow when choosing the person they are going to marry. Endogamy requires that a person can only have a serious relationship with someone who is from a specified group for instance upper class people can only marry another member of the upper class and not from a lower class than themselves. In contrast, exogamy forbids a person from marrying a family member like a sibling or other close relative.

The third section of chapter 1 covers the various structures and residencies a family may take on and how traditional family lifestyles are changing. Nuclear and extended families are two different family structures mentioned. The nuclear family is made up of a husband and wife and their children, and grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are the extended family. In recent years and the number of nuclear families has diminished as divorce rates increase and the number of one-parent families has increased and extended families are increasingly spread further apart. While matriarchies involve females being in power of the family and males having authority of the household characterize a patriarchy, patriarchies remain to be the dominant pattern. The residence patterns of a family often depend on who’s in control of the family. Matriarchies often reside in a matrilocal pattern where the couple lives with the wife’s family and patriarchies often reside in a patrilocal pattern in which the couple lives with the husband’s family. Monogamy and polygamy are discussed, with the distinction that monogamy exist when one person has only one mate in a marriage while a polygamist often has several partners.

Next, the chapter examines common myths that are believed about the family. One myth is that families were happier in the past. However it is now apparent that families were not necessarily happier in the past than they are now; families faced many difficult situations. Circumstances often created less time for families to spend together, serious illnesses and disease were common occurrences, and a shorter life expectancy was a sad fact of life. Another myth is that getting married is the only acceptable choice to make. In the past the most common and expected lifestyle was for people to get married and start a family; today however it is not unheard of or frowned upon for individuals to remain unmarried. Then there is the myth good families must be self-sufficient; but in reality almost everyone needs assistance at one point in their lives so a family should not be judged on how well they are based on if they can do everything for themselves without the help of others. Another myth many people believe is that the family is always compassionate and provides unending love and support, but they often ignore the strains and tensions that may arise in the household, making their assumption false. The last myth that the book covers is that people must make every effort to have the perfect marriage and perfect family. This myth can cause numerous problems because people who attempt to be perfect find themselves clashing with reality, leading to a breakdown in couples’ relationships and the family.

The last part of the chapter examines the different thoughts people hold about the family; such as, whether or not family life is deteriorating, changing, or perhaps becoming stronger than in the past. It discusses changing trends like increases in single-parent families, more unmarried women having babies, and an increase in nonfamily households yet there are fewer number of families with children under the age of 18. The increase in divorce rates has caused an increase in the number of stepfamilies and forced a larger number of women to enter the labor force. Another change is the acceptance of the number of unmarried couples living together with no intention of marriage but contributing to society none the less. It is evident soon ethnic or racial groups will make up half of the total population as the number of foreign-born babies grows and the number of ethnic families in the United States increases. In addition, as the life expectancy increases there is an increase in the number of older people

The chapter mentions both the micro-level and macro-level perspectives on why families are changing. While taking into consideration the changes that are occurring within the family, one must better understand why people make the choices they do (micro) as well as how society and other outside factors influence or limit those choices (macro). Many factors both personal and social have an impact on the family and can often cause the family to struggle. For instance, economic forces like unemployment rates have caused a number of mothers to enter the workforce; technological innovations have lead to higher life expectancy rates that in turn add onto a mothers demand to take care of both their elderly parents and their own children; plus popular culture often influences our lifestyles like when family policies are established and carried out by government. For example, social movements such as the civil rights, women’s, gay rights, and marriage movement have all influenced family and marriages. The chapter concludes that in order to avoid any negative impacts and deal with many of the constraints families often encounter, it is important to understand how the diversity of race, gender, ethnic, religious, and cultural around the world effect the family.

2. What was interesting/what did you learn:

I thought the section that discusses the myth about families in past generations was very interesting. The impact the present troubling economy has had on billions of families has caused many to experience uncomfortable life style changes and made many of us fail to remember how truly difficult family life was in the past. Because so many families are struggling with problems of their own, they feel sorry for themselves and reminisce about how much happier past generations seem to have lived. Interestingly, there is no evidence that this belief is correct. The excerpt titled, Diary of a Pioneer Daughter, points out many of the serious issues families in the past had to overcome. For example, there were widespread endemic and epidemic diseases, more women engaging in hard labor, less free time spent with parents, and shorter life expectancies leading to grieving children growing up in families other than nuclear families.

People live longer today, allowing us to grow up with our parents and benefit from their advice and support; medical advances like vaccines prevent us from having to worry about a family member catching a deadly infectious disease; and there is less demand on women to work in jobs that involve hard labor like hunting. Despite today’s poor economic situation creating high unemployment rates and pushing many mothers to enter the workforce, families in general face less hardships than the majority of families decades ago. There are more options available for families in crisis today than in the past. More aid and assistance is available to help families survive today, whereas in the past, families were often left to fend for themselves. We were born into a world spoiled by technology, with many families living a life of luxury, experiencing longer life spans and addressing infertility by creating babies created. Imagine life without technology or having very few choices if you are incapable of reproducing. It seems to me that families today have more to be happy about. Agree?

When I first considered the questions regarding myths about the family, I will admit that at first I reasoned that because divorce rates have steadily increased in recent years, families today must be less happy than families in the past when the divorce rate was lower. But after reading the entire section about families in past and what they experienced, I would answer no to the first question which asks whether families were happier in the past than they are today. I can see that divorce rates do not necessarily represent unhappiness. In fact many families who experience divorce have happy lifestyles; they just are better off living separately. The section made me realize that all the changes implemented in the world in recent years have certainly made it easier for families to overcome many of the constraints they are faced with making family life less stressful and therefore happier.

3. Discussion Point:

As I read the common myths about the family and came across the one that people should strive to have the perfect marriage and the perfect family a few questions instantly popped into my head. One being, what exactly defines a “perfect” marriage and a “perfect” family? As we have read in this chapter, families are complex and there is no universal definition; so, how can one family be considered perfect if every family is different? In my opinion there is no such thing as “perfect;” perhaps people should strive for a “happy” marriage and family rather than something unattainable and impractical?