Chapter 9

Summary:

In Chapter 9 we learned about:

- Currently, more people today are:
• Choosing not to marry
• Living together
• Raising children alone

- Some social scientists state there is a “marriage problem” in America

- Before young people settle down they are:
• Going to college
• Preparing for a job/career
• Spending more time with recreational/other activities

Types of singles:
• Delaying marriage
• Small percentage that will never marry
• Currently unmarried who are divorced/widowed could be looking for a new partner
• Lesbians and gays who are legally barred from marrying in 44 states

- A single person’s living arrangements could vary from cohabitation or they could choose to live alone in their adult life, single-hood, or as a senior citizen. What later in life???
- Single-hood could be chosen, unintentional, enduring, or temporary

Single adults in various stages:
- If a person’s status is listed as one of the following it does mean that the person’s status can change over time.
• Voluntary temporary singles
- Are open to marriage but not first priority for searching for a mate.
- Voluntary temporary singles rather focus on education, politics, career, self-development
• Voluntary stable singles
- Have never married and are happy with not being married. Voluntary stable singles include widows, divorced, religion that forbids marriage such as nuns/priests, and single parents that are seeking for mates that were never married or divorced.
• Involuntary temporary singles
- Wants to marry and are seeking for a mate. Involuntary temporary singles include widows, divorced, singles that want to get married.
• Involuntary stable singles
- Are usually divorced, widowed, and never married people who would like to get married or remarried who did not find a proper mate and are accepting single as their permanent status. Involuntary stable singles also include people who are physical or psychologically impaired that unfortunately limits them in the so-called marriage market.
• Single Adults that are Older
- Older people tend to be more choosing with their mate because the availability of people has decreased
- Aging women are seen as “over the hill”
- Aging men are seen as “mature and distinguished”
- Older women are less likely than older men to remarry after a divorce or being widowed because they are caring for relatives, mainly aging parents and/or grandchildren.

Negative side of being old and single:
• Can be lonely or unhappy if living in poverty
• Can have bad health
• Do not have caregivers to help them
• Family/friends have abandoned them

Positive side of being old and single:
• Do not have to deal with the trauma of widow-hood or divorce
• Majority have a plethora of friends/family
• They work, date, have multiple hobbies, volunteer, participate in church activities
• Some live by themselves or live with others

Singles who live alone:
• Women 15%, Men 13%
• Older Americans are more likely to live alone, and between genders, older American women are more likely to live alone

Several reasons for these gender differences:
- Women live approximately 6 years longer than men
- Are less likely than men to remarry after a divorce or widow-hood
- If women have good health and good income they can be fortunate enough to care for themselves up to age 80-90.

• 79% of whites live alone
• Other people of a different race usually live with other family members due to the cultural beliefs of caring for family members

Many Americans choose to live alone because:
• Financially able
• Individualism
• Living longer and healthier lives
• Have more options such as single-hood

- Majority of Americans are single because they are not in love and are waiting for the right person to come along
- Figure 9.3 on page 238 has a chart explaining some reasons for postponing marriage

Cohabitation

- Cohabitation is not a passing fad due to emotional rather than legal ties

- In the mid 1990s more than 60% of American couples cohabitated
• 50 years ago there was hardly any cohabitation

Forms of cohabitation:
• Dating cohabitation
• Premarital cohabitation
• Trial marriage
• Substitute marriage

General Patterns of Cohabitation:
• Age
• Gender
• Race and ethnicity
• Social class
• Religion

Pros and Cons of Cohabitation:
• A benefit of cohabitation is emotional security
• A cost of cohabitation is a spouse can show more negative behavior after marriage

- Cohabitation does not lead to a better marriage
• There is an informative section on page 250 called should we live together

- When children are growing up with cohabiting couples even when both parents of the child are biological, the outcome for a child’s life will be inferior as compared to the outcome of children that live with married couples
• Approximately half of all children today will have experienced living with a cohabitating family before age 16

- According to legal experts when cohabitating it is best to keep separate ownership of possessions in order to have the best protection of your finances

- Homosexuals are like heterosexuals cohabitants because they have to work out issues like:
• Communication
• Power
• Household responsibilities, and custody/child rearing issues from preexisting relationship/marriage

Interests/ Unusual Items Learned:

The two articles that I found to be informative and interesting are:
• Applying what you’ve learned on page 250
• Why do Americans favor or oppose same sex marriages? On page 255

In my opinion, cohabitating and same sex marriages are two major factors that are taking part in today’s society. In the cohabitating article, it lists the reasons why someone should not live together, and the people who live together reasoning for doing so. In the same sex marriage article, there is a list about the pros and cons of why same sex marriage is or is not legal. Considering that I am ignorant on both topics, I felt I was educated on the negative and positive side in regard to the topics.


Discussion:

After reading chapter 9, I feel that I am well informed on the topic of cohabitation. Considering the book has listed several reasons why people cohabitate and why they shouldn’t cohabitate makes me still question the reason why people live together before marriage if they even choose to marry at all.
I think people have the right to do what they feel is best for themselves. However, I think they are creating more problems for themselves in the long run, especially if they are bringing a child into the cohabitating environment.
Even before I read about cohabitating in chapter 9, I always wondered why people choose not to get married before living together. They are taking on married couple responsibilities, and even if they choose to leave each other, I don’t feel that cohabitating would make the breakup any cleaner. What are your thoughts on cohabitation?

Natalie Sebula