Chapter 9

Summary:

Chapter 9 focuses around singlehood, cohabitation, civil unions, and the other options in society besides marriage. This chapter begins with the single option, in which it discusses why Americans are opting out of marriage and why so many singles are postponing it. Within this section it specifically mentioned how many young people are pursuing further education, preparing for jobs and careers, and spending more time in recreational and other activities. Furthering the discussion of singles the chapter begins to cover the topics of how diverse the singles are. For example, this section starts off with single adults in general, in which it discusses the extent to how freely or unintentional singles are. These specific types include the voluntary temporary singles, voluntary stable singles, involuntary temporary singles, and the involuntary stable singles. This part of the chapter also discusses single adults in their later life including the topics of aging and the double standard and some of the advantages and disadvantages of being single in later life.

Furthering the discussion of the single adults, Benokraitis covers the topic of those living alone including both who is living alone and why. Falling into this category is the discussion of gender and age and race and ethnicity. More women than men live alone and of all of the age groups older women are more likely than their male counterparts to live alone. As for the discussion of race, more than 80% of people who live alone are white.

Because there is a growing trend in more people being single, this chapter focuses on some of the macro-level factors, demographic influences, and individual reasons. The macro-level factors include things such as war, technology, social movements, economic factors, and gender roles. On the other hand, the individual reasons include waiting for a soul mate, being independent, enjoying close relationships, making a commitment, having children, fearing divorce, and being healthy and physically attractive.

Chapter 9 then continues to talk about the racial and ethnic singles where it focuses on African Americans, Latinos, and Asian Americans. All of which they discuss the structural factors and the attitudes and values that each group has. Before discussing about cohabitation, this chapter also brings some myths and realities about being single to the forefront, such as singles are selfish and self-centered, singles are well-off financially, singles are usually lonely and miserable and want to marry, singles are promiscuous or don’t get any sex, singles’ children are doomed to a life of poverty as well as emotional and behavioral problems, singles worry about growing old and dying alone, and that there’s something wrong with people who don’t want to marry.

The next topic that this chapter focuses on is cohabitation. This section starts off by telling us the growth in cohabitation and some of the attitudes that people have. It then continues to describe the different types of cohabitation that exist such as dating cohabitation, premarital cohabitation, trial marriage, and substitute marriage. Because this is a growing trend, the chapter also looks into who cohabits and looks at factors such as age, gender, race and ethnicity, social class, and religion. Unfortunately like everything in life there are benefits and costs to cohabitating and this chapter also tells us those. A unique question that this leads into is if cohabitation leads to better marriages. Here, this section tells us that it does not and it gives us certain effects that people who cohabitate experience such as the selection effect, the cohabitation effect, and the inertia effect. This also leads us into questioning how it affects children and how it interacts with the law.

Finally the chapter concludes with a discussion on gay and lesbian couples and relationships and discusses how they value love and commitment, how they distribute power and the division of labor, the problems and conflicts that they may experience, and racial and ethnic variations. Because gay and lesbian couples are often another form of cohabitation the chapter also discusses communal living arrangements which are collective households in which children and adults from different families live together.

What was interesting/what did I learn:

I found it interesting that the trend is generally that more women than men live alone. I also was confused with why the book made the connection between more women living alone because they live about six years older than men. Although this was shocking, I found it more shocking that out of all of the people who live alone, 80% are white. Based on stereotypes and the media I always imagined that more of the minorities would live alone because they are never depicted in anything as the primary person to look at. After thinking about this, although I find it shocking that this number is so high for the whites, when I look at demographics and other statistics, I find that there is a logical connection, because more whites would have the financial means and stability to be able to be independent and not have to rely on others, whereas the average minority is lucky to make the minimum of a blue collar white worker.

Question:

Do you think if someone is extremely physically attractive but has many mental or emotional issues that they are more or less likely to stay single longer?