Chapter 12

Summary

Chapter 12 is titled “Raising Children: Promises and Pitfalls.” The author gives examples of both rewards and difficulties of being a parent. First are both difficulties and are called role conflict and role strain. They both have to do with gender roles and what responsibilities are supposed to be put on each parent and role strain comes from within the role and is strain the parent puts on his or her self.  Unrealistic role expectations come from parents who think they can do it all but realize that they cant. Decreased authority comes from a lot of different factor but the most common is who influences their children, them or the media and others around them.  Responsibility can also be increased through state laws that put harsh punishments on parents when their child breaks the law since.  Mothers and fathers both have ideal roles but they are not always fulfilled.

The book then goes into theories of child development. The first is Mead’s Theory of the Social Self.  This theory says that a child develops it’s beliefs, morals, and personality from the society around them. Piaget’s Cognitive Development Theory says that children develop through four different stages. They are, “differentiating oneself from the external world; learning to use language and symbols; understanding the perspective of another person; and learning to think and reason in abstract terms about the past, presents, and future.” And the last theory is Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory of development, which says that there are eight stages of development and they are specific challenges that the person must complete to get to the next.

Different ethnic groups and social classes raise children differently. Some differences in races include things such as how likely they are to read books to their children, how many expect their children to go to college, how often they take their children o the play grounds, and how much the race watches their children’s activities. Socioeconomic status also affects how parents interact with their children. Lower class families have a very difficult time raising children mostly because of monetary issues. They cannot pay for extra education like middle and upper class families can.

As a child grows, the parent’s role changes. Having a baby is not an easy task to take on. Infants need constant attention and this can put stress on parents. Parents of infants are also typically exhausted both physically and mentally. As infants turn to toddlers and children, things begin to get a little easier. Children are able to interact with their parents more and can have input on things they want or don’t want.  Teenagers are difficult to raise as well, since this is when a person goes through the most change. They are working on figuring out their identity and relationships with their parents can change.  At the end of the teenage years is the “empty nest,” when the child leaves the home and the parents are left with an empty house. This is typically seen as the end of the family life cycle. However, due to difficult economic times the children often have to come back to the nest after college or after the loss of a job because their parents have a much more stable income than they do.

Less than half of gay and lesbian couples choose to raise children. Most children say that nothing is different about their parents than any other families. However, sometimes they say things like that to avoid teasing from other children.

All parents have different styles of parenting and discipline. There are four different parenting styles, which are, authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and uninvolved and within this there are two different dimensions: support and control. Authoritarian parents are demanding and they expect their child to do things. Permissive parents let their children do whatever they want. They do not set boundaries for their children and are usual a disturbance to others in public. Authoritative parents are similar to authoritarian parents in that they are strict and demanding but they are also warm and take care of their children on a loving level. Uninvolved parents do nothing and spend no time with their children. Discipline has a few different categories as well. Verbal punishment is simply when a parent yells at their children. Corporal punishment is physical punishment, which usually comes in the form of spanking or hitting.

The next section of the chapter talks about childcare. Absentee fathers are what some think is one of the most serious problems for families and children especially. It affects the family in both social and economic ways. Latchkey kids are children of families in which both parents work and the children come home to an empty house at the end of the day. This can be beneficial or detrimental to children. Some thrive on the independence but others do not get their work done and become destructive. Childcare centers or day care are an option for families in which both parents work. More conservative families do not believe in day care and think it is the mothers and the extended family’s reasonability to care of the child.

Electronic media has changed the way children are raised. Television has affected the way children learn or what they do not learn. Video games and the internet have changed things as well and the book cited this for an increase in childhood obesity. Cyber bullying has also changed children. The bullies often follow them home instead of just being dealt with at school.

What I learned:

I thought the section on spanking was interesting. I think it’s a pretty common thing for parents to do. I was never spanked (I was a perfect child, kidding!) but my younger brother was on occasion. I think he turned out pretty okay so I’m not sure about some of the statements the box made. For example, it said that most spanking was a result of substance abuse by the parents, not the child’s behavior. That was very far from the truth in my home.

Question for further discussion:

On page347, there is a picture and a caption that talks about the Chinese technology rehab center. It says that children that use media for 6 hours straight a day for 3 months are considered addicts and are sent to these rehab centers where their phones, computers, and televisions are taken away and they are forced to follow what seems like a boot camp regimen.  

Do you think this would be beneficial to people in the US? Do you think we need something like this here?