Chapter 17

Summary
Chapter seventeen discusses families later in life and the effects of aging. This is a significant topic because America’s older population has been gradually increasing over the past 111 years. However, the younger population has been steadily declining. As a result, fewer working-age people will be supporting the older generation and the gender gap will continue to grow because of the fact that women tend to live longer than men. In addition, an aging population is more likely to face ageism and stereotypes. Our society tends to be youth-oriented which can foster a fear of aging and ageism, discrimination against someone in relation to their age.
This increasing age group also has an impact on the work force. Because retirement, social security, pension plans, and Medicare are becoming more exclusive, older people are working longer. However, there are also many unemployed older Americans that are having difficulty finding work due to the recession and age discrimination.
With old age often comes a new family role, grandparenting. Grandparents are important to a family in several ways: they represent stability and continuity of family traditions and values in addition to providing support, and helping their children parent. Benokraitis describes give grandparenting styles:
1. Remote or detached, the grandparents and grandchildren live far apart and rarely see each other.
2. Companionate and supportive, the grandparents see their grandchildren often and offer emotional and instrumental support.
3. Involved and influential, the grandparents play an active role in the grandchildren’s lives and have significant authority over them.
4. Advisory and authoritative, the grandparents are a “reservoir of family wisdom” and they may provide emotional, financial and child care support.
5. Cultural transmitters, the grandparents pass on values and norms to their grandchildren.
Grandparents can also serve as surrogate parents to their grandchildren in times of need. Grandchildren often move in with their grandparents if their parents are involved with drug abuse, have had a teen pregnancy, are going through a divorce, are unemployed or incarcerated, suffer from mental illness, have maltreated their children, or are no longer living. Three of the most common types of surrogate grandparents are custodial grandparents, living-with grandparents, and day-care grandparents.
On the other hand, children often become caregivers for their parents. The “sandwich generation” involves midlife men and women who are not only caring for dependent children, but aging parents as well. Adult children help out in various ways, Matthews and Rosner describe five caregiving styles:
1. Routine help, the adult child assists their parent with their ongoing activities.
2. Backups, one person is a routine caregiver but a sibling may step in if needed.
3. Circumscribed, the adult child can be counted on to help, but their availability is limited.
4. Sporadic, the adult child provides assistance at their own convenience.
5. Disassociated, the adult child cannot be counted on for help due to geographic distance or other responsibilities.
With aging inevitably comes death and dying. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proposed five stages of dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, many older individuals welcome death and believe it is “a natural part of life”. The death of a spouse can result in many life changes. For example, friendships and relationships with in-laws may change or be lost, however new relationships may be forged through dating and remarriage.
What I Learned
The section on grandparenting styles was eye opening for me. Because all of my grandparents were companionate and supportive, I never realized that there are a number of different grandparenting styles.
Question/Concern
Do you think there will be significant implications for our society due to the growing older population and decreasing younger population?