Chap 10 blog

David Komorowski
Chapter 10 Blog

Summary
Outline of this Chapter
- Why do people marry
o Right reasons
 Love/ companionship
 Adult identity
 Commitments and personal fulfillment
 Continuity
o Wrong reasons
 Social pressure
 Social legitimacy
 Economic Security (disagree)*
- What to expect from marriage
o Engagement
o Bridal shower
o Bachelor party (vague explanation)*
o Prenuptial agreements/love
 Prenuptial goes over
• How many children
• Religious upbringing of child
• Sexual intercourse
• Who wraps presents for relatives (?)
- Types of marriages
o Conflict-habituated
o Passive-congenial
o Vital/ Total
- Marital success and happiness
o Are married couples happy?
o What’s important for success?
 Flexibility/ Positive attitude
 Emotional support
- How marriages affects health
o Married couples overall healthier
o Protection effect
o Marital burnout
 Deterioration of love
- Marital role
o His/her marriages
o Variation in domestic roles
o Domestic roles/marital quality
- How marriages change throughout the life course
o Early years
o Children
o Midlife
o Later life
- Communication and successful relationships
o What’s good communication?
o Goals
o Self-disclosure
o Power/conflict
- What couples fight about
o Money
o Housework/children
o Fidelity/sex
- Productive communication patterns
o Improving your style
o Family therapy

What I learned: In reading this chapter I have to say that I have learned a lot about just the dynamics that marriage has. In looking at all of these aspects of what may/may not go wrong with it, the ideal reasons for doing it, etc. made me feel like when one looks too closely to marriage it may be a little bit discouraging. I believe that there are some right and wrong reasons to get married but I believe they differ for each person/their interests. I really was surprised to see a time line of what marriage can be expected to be like throughout life beginning with childhood and going all the way up to later life. When I first started reading the chapter I didn’t really expect it to talk about the health benefits and risk factors of getting married. When I saw this my first inclination was that married couples take care of themselves less because they get comfortable with their partners and “let themselves go” but according to the book it is actually not the same.

What could’ve been better?
¬One thing I did not think was too accurate was the books right and wrong reasons for getting married. For example one can look at history and see that earlier in time dowry prices, joining of clans, and upward mobility were all seemingly fine reasons to marry and were pretty much the only reasons why marriages occurred. Yet later on a romantic period struck and now not only marriages but relationships are romanticized in TV, movies, and books which produce our cultural standards of what marriage should be about. So in the book when it says that economic security isn’t a right reason to marry, I believe it is saying that we a heavily biased western view. Economic security can be something that people marry for and I’m sure it happens all of the time around the world. I know this is one example and I am not saying that this is even a good reason for marriage. I just think that there are many more variables that go into marriage than we believe and that pointing to one reason and saying, “that’s wrong,” shouldn’t occur.