Chapter seven was very interesting to read as it deals with a topic many of us are shy to talk about: sexuality. The chapter addresses various topics in detail about why we have sex, who influences our sexual behavior, how we express our sexuality throughout our lifetime and even some more heavy topics such as sexual infidelity, Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual sex, and to be cautionary against contracting STI's and the prevention of obtaining an STI. Some reasons as to why we engage in sexual activity as listed in the chapter are due to peer pressure from others--possibly to fit in or feel accepted by peers--and from parental input which can delay first intercourse or conversely influence it depending on the parent-child relationship. Its actually surprising how much teens and adolescents don't know about sex, as the text goes on to demonstrate.
Who influences our sexual behavior? Well, according to the text, our parents play a huge role in implementing morals and values about what is acceptable when it comes to relationships and being sexually active. The text says that ideally parents should be the first and best sex educators because they are experienced (duh, how did their kids get there in the first place?) and have their children's interests at heart. However the sad part about this is that most parents are not the primary source of sex education for their children because of multiple reasons such as not knowing how to approach the topic at a comfortable angle and the fact that many children may feel embarrassed to discuss such a personal topic with their parents (even though you should never be embarrassed to share who you are with your family, in my opinion). Instead, children are more likely to become educated about pregnancy and sex from their peers, the media, and education classes provided by schools or health programs.
When it comes to expressing our sexuality, there are certain behaviors we use such as flirting, kissing, and autoeroticism, oral and anal sex, and intercourse. The chapter goes into detail about the ins and outs of each behavior shifting to talking about how we use these behaviors throughout our lifetime.
I was able to discover a lot about the topics of sexuality while reading this chapter. I found it particularly interesting to learn that there are more similarities between straight and gay men and between straight women and lesbians than there is between lesbians and gays. You would think the exact opposite, in fact. One of the similarities is that straight women and lesbians are more likely to engage in monogamous relationships as compared to gay and straight men who are more likely to sleep around (so it looks like the saying boys will be boys proves true after all?).
There truly is a double standard between men and women when it comes to expressing sexuality. Its more acceptable for a man v. a woman to express himself sexually, i.e. sleep around and no one will judge them on their wedding day for not keeping a vow of virginity. This double standard is hard on women and so much that (apparently) it's common for American women to undergo vaginal surgery every year to regain their virginity, as the book informs us. First of all, I had no idea this was even possible! But the surgery is available for women who regretted swiping their v-card and wants to remain virgin till marriage, perhaps to please their future spouse?
It was particularly disturbing to learn that the choice of Halloween costumes for young girls (ages 7 to 8) are sexy princesses, nurses, and witches. Really? That is so wrong!! Girls that age are just entering first or second grade. When I was that age remember dressing as a hippie--fully clothed. The fact that costumes are an excuse for adolescent girls to express their sexuality publicly is disturbing and our society is definitely sending the wrong message to younger generations these days.
Also, I found it very surprising that purity balls include girls as young as age 4 which consists of a ceremonial promise to remain celibate until marriage. How on earth can girls-let alone anyone-this age make an informed decision to remain a virgin? Children this young aren't able to grasp the concept they are agreeing to and I it almost unfair in a sense. I'm not saying that all children should go out and have sex at a young age. I'm saying that when these children mature and are able to comprehend the implications involved while in a serious relationship of theirs, they should be able to decide for their self what is right and wrong based on the values and morals they've been raised by.
When reading about parental influence on their child's sexual activity, the text states that teens are less likely to engage in sexual intercourse and have fewer partners if their mothers, in particular, monitor their activities, maintain good communication, and have strict attitudes about adolescent sex. Well, my question is what about fathers? Wouldn't their strict influence their children to abstain from sexual activity? Why is it the mothers, in particular, who are more effective in this case?
Also, the book posed an interesting question I would like to bring up for discussion as well: How does a parent provide information on birth control but also teach their children to "just say no"? I can definitely see how this is a point of conflict and parent's don't want to convey that engaging in sex is an okay thing to do (before the right person or time has come) but if they don't communicate how to have safe sex, then there will be bigger issues to worry about such as teen pregnancy or a contracted STI. So, how should parents approach this?
No comments:
Post a Comment