As I reflect on this semester and everything that has been
discussed in class and read about the book, I had a thought. Did I already
learn these things? I knew all of the specific theories were new but the ideas
were all the same. I had to ask myself; did I learn everything I need to know
about relationships, dating, marriage, and children from Sex and the City?
Each character had her own problems that were all discussed
in the textbook at some point. I know I talked about it in some of my blogs and
some of my blog comments. I could not help but make the connection. I’m a SATC freak; it’s one of my favorite
shows. And as a communication major, I tend to relate things in the world
around me back to media and pop culture.
Carrie went through a lot of relationship ups and
downs. In chapter 7, unfaithful
partners are discussed. Carrie was a part of an affair, she was not the one to
be cheated on. In season 3, she is in a relationship with Aiden, and her
exboyfriend, Big, is married. Despite this, they are still sneaking around to
hotels and finding ways to spend time together. It can be said that reason number 3 of infidelity can be
cited for this relationship. The anonymity of urban life (page 191) is what
made it so easy for Big and Carrie to sneak around. They could go to places
where they didn’t know anyone, since New York City is so big. Carrie also
covered the issue of cohabitation. Chapter 9 discusses what cohabitation is and
defines it as, “a living arrangement in which two unrelated people are not married
but live together and are in a sexual relationship.” (page 246) In season 4,
Carrie and Aiden are living together, but not married. He proposes but she
refuses to wear the engagement ring on her ring finger, opting instead to wear
it as a necklace. As she realizes she does not want to get married, their
relationship deteriorates. They break up and Aiden moves out just as they were
supposed to make their first payment on their apartment. Carrie cannot afford
the apartment alone and uses Charlotte’s ring from her divorce to pay the down
payment.
Charlotte spends most of the series being obsessed with
marriage and the idea of a family. She meets Tray in season 3 and they marry.
The marriage does not last very long, they were separated and then they divorced.
Divorce was the hot topic in chapter 15. In season 3, we watch Charlotte going
through all of the stages of separation. There is preseparation, shown in
episode 13. Charlotte and Trey have just gotten back from their honeymoon and
she shows her friends pictures, but when she’s alone with Carrie she reveals
her true feelings. In episode 15, Carrie, Samantha and Miranda had left
Charlotte in New York to go spend a week in L.A. Charlotte becomes so fed up
with Trey that she leaves to meet them in L.A. This is an example of early
separation, as Charlotte flirts with an older man, she realizes that maybe Trey
is what she wants, she just didn’t realize it. Midseparation occurs in episode
17, when Charlotte kisses Trey’s family gardener and Trey finds out but accepts
it, realizing their marriage is as good as over. Charlotte is upset and feels
emotionally ignored. Also, another characteristic of midseparation is a second
reunion, which happens, in the last episode of season 3. Finally, late
separation occurs in season 4 as Charlotte starts having relations with her
divorce lawyer, Harry. They fall in love and Charlotte remarries, another issue
discussed in our textbook. Charlotte is not able to have children and the two
adopt a daughter together. Adoption is another topic in our textbooks.
Miranda becomes pregnant with her on again-off again
boyfriend, Steve in season 4. They were not dating at the time she became
pregnant, so she told him she would raise the child herself. For much of season
4 and 5, Miranda is a single mother. Part 4 of our book talks about the
constraints of being a parents and what it’s like to raise children. Miranda
struggles are documented in chapters 11 and 12. Miranda is a lawyer at a great
law firm and is terrified of what will happen if they find out she is pregnant.
She thinks they may want to make her partner but is afraid they won’t do so if
they find out she has to go on maternity leave. After her son, Brady, is born,
Miranda navigates her way through single motherhood. Although Steve has some
custody of Brady, Miranda is the main caregiver. Miranda has to figure out how
to balance her career, her social and dating life, and motherhood.
Samantha is the ultimate single woman and she would probably
have a huge problem with the book talking about the “marriage problem.” The
first section of chapter 9 talks about how many Americans are opting out of
marriage and instead choosing and education or a career, and this is very
similar to Samantha. She is the owner of a very successful public relations
firm. Instead of developing serious relationships, we watch Samantha have
sexual relations with many, many men throughout the series. It isn’t until the
6th, and final, season that we see Samantha in a relationship. Even
though she is very much in love with her boyfriend, Smith, they never marry but
do cohabitate at one point. The book discusses single adults in later life in
chapter 9 and the idea of being home alone. Samantha is usually okay with this
until one episode in which she has a horrible case of the flu and wishes a man
was there to put her curtains up and take care of her.
All of these situations, and many others, are great examples
of what subject matter was discussed in our textbooks. Sex and the City may seem like a typical, girly television show,
but underneath all of the designer clothes, sex scenes, and bad dates, there
are great lessons to be learned from these four women.
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